I hate how my heart flutters when you're around or how I find it difficult to maintain eye contact with you.
I hate how you give me mixed signals, that gives butterflies in my stomach.
I hate how my chest seem to tighten when you are beside me.
I hate how I can't stop thinking about you making me weary that you might be there, silently observing me.
I hate how I started to feel something for you, creating conflict between my heart and mind.
I hate how it made me fear that me liking you will break our building friendship.
I hate how I'm unable to hate you, that you are too likeable to be loathed.
I hate how I'm silently hoping that you might like me too, selfishly wishing.
Even tho I know that I'm not worthy nor ready to have that kind of relationship.
I hate how I'm writing poems about you.
I may have said that I hated liking you but a part of me is happy that of all people, the person I like is a person who has a good heart.
I am contented to what we have right now, a building friendship. But I feel scared for some reason.
Scared of thinking that this year , our time together, will end.
That we might part ways without me saying what I really feel about you.
I'm scared that you might forget me, that shy timid girl in class, because I know that I am not a remarkable person. I am not someone who did something to make herself unforgettable.
But then, why should I be scared?
It's not like we had something special between us.
It's not like we talk on a daily basis or hang out that much.
It's not like we had a special bond.
I shouldn't be scared of something trivial like that.
But then, why do I feel down?
How come my heart aches of the thought of you forgetting me?
But I'll assure myself that this feeling will only be temporary. That my feelings for you won't last...
.....Hopefully
