The Mother of All

Well That Didn't Go as Planned.

She started to laugh and I nervously went along with it laughing with her and acting happy. When really there was a whole in my heart that I couldn't patch up. Before I could really say anything, she kissed me. At this point I was panicking. I had felt Rose watching just before we kissed and now, I was sure to have an angry red headed "wife" if she even considered herself to be that to me anymore and a girl that I was trying to break up with thinking that we are going to get married. How the hell did I mess this up?

Pulling away from Becky I threw my words at her not really caring if they made sense or not. Just the need to say them before I did something I would regret, "Becky look I really do care about you a lot actually but I think it would be best for the both of us if we don't see each other anymore." I watched and waited for the explosion. The yelling the anger but I didn't see any of it, "Beck come on say something. I never meant to hurt you. Really, I didn't it's just. It's complicated."

"The women you write about Rose. Is she real like Dean and Sam?"

Deep dread ran through my bones. I could feel the pressure inside of me bubble to the surface. I hadn't realized she still affected me like this. I knew I missed her but the regret of that day still haunts me, "Yeah she was real." Tears threatened to break free, but I couldn't show a simple mortal how I felt. I was supposed to be all powerful and all knowing, and yet I was weak. I was and am completely clueless to this world that I created.

"Chuck are you okay? Did something happen you talk about her as if... she uh died. She didn't die, did she? Who was she?"

"She was my whole life. She was the thing that made me excited to get up the next day. She's the reason why I can't be with you." Raising my gaze to meet hers I saw the tears of a person who knew what it was like to lose someone you loved, and for a moment I saw my Rose when the children frustrated her. Like the time Lucifer and had been holding Gabe as a baby and dropped him. Rose was terrified that Gabe had gotten hurt and she was so angry at Luci that she just snapped on him. Afterward she came to me crying holding Gabe. She was sad because she didn't want to lose her family. Scared that she had been too harsh on him.

"Chuck you can't get her back. I know you want to but you can't."

"You will see. Someday I will and when I do this place with be better."

"Chuck what do you..."Before she could finish her sentence, I sent her back to her apartment with her car parked in the garage, and the false memory that I broke up with her because we just weren't going to work out. It wasn't the nicest thing to do, but I couldn't risk anyone knowing my plan not yet that is. First thing on the to-do list is to visit her. Which at this point is not going to end well...