Change of Plans - Grizzam

Chapter 15 - 3 words, 6 letters

Sam 

"Sam, I'm sorry!" 

David repeats for the 30th time. Sam sights and turns around, taking a seat on his bed. It was the day after the party and apparently David came over to apologize, his face swollen and bruised from the fight the day before. 

"It's alright. Just never do it again. I don't like jealous assholes you know." Sam says with a severe look. 

"But your Ex-Asshole wasn't very nice either..." David mumbles. 

"I took care of that already. He won't bother us again." Sam answers and bites his lip a little. 

Just the thought of Grizz, sitting in his bathroom, bleeding and crying makes his throat feels constricted. Sam doesn't really know why - but it irritates him and makes him somehow angry. Mostly at himself.

There is nothing going on between him and Grizz anymore, Sam has a boyfriend now! A really pretty and sweet one who deserves Sams full attention and love for gods sake!

"How is your face?" Sam asks, takes Davids hands and pulls him closer to take a precise look at it. 

"Could be better..." David says and sits down on Sams lap. 

"I don't look as good as usual but I think we can just so something with our eyes closed then..." the jock smirks a little and kisses Sam softly. 

Sam kisses him back. 

But something was different. 

Grizz 

"...and I think I might actually still have a chance!"  Grizz says and turns around to Lynn who is opening up the fridge, looking for something to snack. 

"Uh...okay but I think you might miss a little detail here." she answers and grabs a pudding "Sam want's a boyfriend who is outed...like...the boyfriend he currently has..." 

Grizz rolls his eyes "Lynn stop being so negative! His current boyfriend is a total dick, he almost broke my nose!"

"...and you his jaw but what do I know..." Lynn mumbles and quick puts a spoon full of pudding in her mouth. 

"NOT THE POINT!"  Grizz sulks and quickly grabs Lynns pudding and the spoon. 

"I wanna come out to my mom..." he ads quietly and also eats a spoon full of chocolate pudding. 

Lynns ayes widen a little "Really?!" she says excitedly. "What do you think she is going to say?" 

The jock shrugs his shoulders "I think she already knows...but saying it is still...hard..." 

Lynn nods "Just say if I can support you somehow! But your mom is so sweet I am pretty sure you don't need to worry!" she hugs Grizz and quickly grabs her pudding  which makes Grizz chuckle. 

"You guzzler!" he laughs and pokes Lynn in her stomach. 

"Hey!" Lynn has to laugh too "I am still recovering from our football practice! I've lost almost a pound!" 

The jock shakes his head in disbelief "But I see you're working on your bikini body again!" he laughs and points to Lynn who maneuvers another spoon in her mouth. 

A few hours later Grizzs mom enters the house. Her son is busy in the kitchen, preparing dinner. 

"Gareth?" she says surprised when she sees her son in front of the stove. 

"What did you get yourself into that you're cooking for me?" she grins and walks over to him. 

The jocks head turns red instantly "Nothing I hope...just wanted to be nice..."

"Don't worry I was just joking!" she says smiling and makes the table ready. 

Grizz was very, very nervous. Even though he knows that his mom doesn't have a problem with gay people and with a gay son it's different to really say it. 

"Mom?" he says slowly.

"Yes darling?" she says and looks up from her pasta eagerly. 

"....can you hand over the salt please?" 

Dammit...

His mom chuckles softly, nods and gives her son the salt mill before continuing eating. 

Grizz was just too nervous, this whole situation is messing with him a lot. It felt like never in his life something has been harder. Which he knows is bullshit. His dad leaving when he was only 7 and his mom crying about it for months was hard. But saying his mom that he is gay? Which she probably knows already?! This shouldn't be this hard! 

The jock puts down his cutlery. 

It's not that hard Grizz, c'mon!

3 words. 6 letters.

"I am gay." Grizz says quickly before turning pale. 

He did it. He said it. 3 words. 6 letters. 

The jocks sight gets blurry which makes him close his eyes. He heard something sliding over the wooden floor before he gets pulled in a warming hug. 

"I love you Gareth. And I always will, no matter what!"  she strokes him softly. Grizz didn't notice that he was crying until now. A sob leaves his lips followed by another one when he hugs his mom back. "Thankyou,thankyou,thankou" he whispers. 

Grizz wasn't so sure why he was crying  but It was just such an overwhelming feeling coming out to the person that you love the most. The person that you never EVER wanna disappoint. 

And at the same time Grizz misses Sam so badly that it hurts. Not just his heart, the pain is taking over his whole body which makes Grizz sob even more. Sam is very special.He always saw the best in Grizz. The jock was the best version of himself around Sam. Their friends with benefits thingy was so much more than that. They've supported each other, there were always there for each other and...they loved each other. Sam being gone means a part of Grizz is gone too. A very important part which makes is hard for the jock to function properly. The last weeks he numbed his pain by torturing himself on the football field, every day for several hours. But right now it's impossible for him to forget about Sam. It's like missing your lungs, or your brain, or your heart. 

Impossible to breath. Impossible to think. Impossible to live.