Duyên || Clint Barton

037 || apologies

•••

Familiar footsteps hurried after me, Nat calling for me to stop.
"I can't deal with him right now Nat"
"I know, I just -" she took a deep breath, "Grace we might have found a way to get them back"
I halted in my tracks, tears instantly springing to my eyes.
"Don't say that to me Nat"
"You think he'd be here otherwise?"
I took a shaky step, resting my head on her shoulder as a few tears escaped my eyes.
"This'll work?"
"It has to"
I nodded and, collecting myself with gritted teeth, I wiped the tears from my eyes as I walked back towards the room, head held high.
"You don't have to do this if you're not ready" Nat said, her reassuring presence helping stop me from backing out.
"For my kids? I do"

Thankfully when I walked back into the room no one made a big deal out of it, Steve even preventing Clint from walking over to me which I greatly appreciated. Tony just sent me an encouraging smile, before gathering at the front to give a small speech on time travel and why the previous tests didn't work.
"What do you mean he turned into a baby?" I scoffed, looking at Natasha, bewildered, "how did you do that?"
"I didn't - Bruce did"
"I - it's - time travels hard!"
I laughed at the pitiful explanation, rolling my eyes.
"No shit. I'm guessing you pushed time through him?"
"Yeah - how did you know that?"
"I'm Morgan's godmother, I learn things"
That seemed to be a good enough answer, as Bruce nodded and turned back to Tony's rant (complete with large gesticulations and vibrant facial expressions), mumbling something about 'super genius child'.
As everyone got their jobs and separated, I moved to follow Nat, stopped by a familiar calloused hand on my forearm.
"Grace, please"
"Five minutes Barton"
"Thank you"

•••

I sat down on the chair as Clint closed the door, separating us from the rest of the group.
"I - jesus I've missed you" he breathed, eyes fixating on me with a heavy stare. My heart clenched painfully, my fists clenching as I willed myself to stay straight-faced for as long as possible.
"Times ticking"
Exhaling, he walked over and knelt in front of me, his hands hovering over my lap.
"Everything I did, I did for you. I know how that sounds but - Goddamnit Grace it's true. After..." he took a shaky breath, "after you broke down in Mexico I realised what I was doing - what I had dragged you into. It wasn't fair on you. We were both grieving and I had done the one thing I promised myself I would never do. I had hurt you"
His voice cracked, head bowing as he avoided my eyes, hands finally falling onto my lap. The contact was enough to break through the fragile walls that held back my tears, my whole body aching to comfort him.

So, against my better judgement, I placed my shaking hand on top of his.

His head shot back up in surprise, though I kept my gaze fixed above his head.
"The only thing you ever did to hurt me was sending me away"
"Grace, you don't understand" he started, voice tight "you've always been so good. A healer. And then I broke and went back to what I know best and I took you with me - made you kill - and I should never have put you in that situation. It was selfish of me but I needed you with me. I couldn't -"
As soon as the first tear escaped his eye it was all over, the tears overflowing from both of us as I reached down and pulled him into a hug, burying my head into his neck.
"I'm so sorry" he sobbed, hand reaching up to gently cradle my head, "I'm so sorry"
I just stayed silent, tightening my hold on him slightly to show I understood. After a few minutes, I drew my head back slightly.
"I didn't take my rings off because I didn't love you anymore - it was just too hard to see them everyday"
Clint just nodded, bringing the rings back out of his pocket, a shy expression dawning over his face.
"This doesn't mean everything's just magically okay"
"I know" he whispered, nodding vehemently, "but can we try?"
"Don't run away again"
"Never"
I smiled tearily, placing my hand in his. He let out a small happy sound, dipping his head to place a kiss onto the back of my hand, moving to place a small kiss to the pad of each finger before stopping at my ring finger, slipping the rings back on.
"And Clint?"
"Mhm?"
"Those tattoos are fucking hot"