Duyên || Clint Barton

032 || morgan

•••

The next few months seemed to pass in a blur. Due to the lack of doctors since the snap I was easily hired, the constant routine and long hour shifts keeping me more grounded than I had felt in a long time. Rhodey and Bruce had left the compound again, the former seemingly disappearing into thin air again (Nat refused to speak about it) and I was making regular bi-weekly visits to the Stark household.
I had fallen into quite an easy friendship with Pepper, much to Tony's delight, and had been helping her throughout her third trimester.

I was halfway through a nap after a 12hour shift at the hospital when I got a panicked call from Tony.
"Is everything okay?"
"Grace - Pep thinks her water broke-"
Tony was cut off by Pepper in the background, her voice tense with pain.
"I know it broke Tony, as much as you want to say I pissed myself I DEFINITELY DIDNT"
"Jesus, okay I'm on my way - you still set for a home birth?"
"Yes we have everything"
"Okay. Stark I just need you to hold it together for half an hour, you got this. Call the midwife and update her on the situation"
"Got it - See you soon"
I hung up and launched myself out of bed, slapping my cheeks a few times to wake up my brain. Pulling on random clothing, I grabbed my bag and dashed out into the living room, coming across Steve on the sofa.
"Steve! Peppers in labour! Tell Nat I went to help!"
I was out of the room before he could reply, snatching my car keys from the counter as I ran out of the door.

•••

"Oh thank god" Pepper groaned, walking over and placing her head on my shoulder, "he won't stop pacing"
I laughed, rubbing her back as she did her breathing, a contraction ripping through her back.
"How far apart are they now?"
"About 20 minutes, but they sure hurt like a bitch"
I hummed in sympathy, looking around for Tony while I continued to keep Pepper calm.
"Tony! Get your ass in here!"
Panicked footsteps scrambled into the room.
"Is she okay? Is the baby coming? Oh god is it happening?"
"No - for fucks sake Tony - hold your wife while I set up your shit!"
"Oh, I can do that. Yeah that's fine"
Pepper groaned as I transferred her into Tony's arms, resting her weight on him.

Once the bedroom was fully set up, I made my way back down to the couple, finding them in exactly the same position.
"You doing alright"
"I'm okay"
"I was asking Pepper" I scoffed, resisting my urge to laugh as she whacked his arm.
"Did the midwife say when she was gonna be here?"
"She told us she'd be here around 10 - so another 20 minutes or so" Pepper mumbled, face tensing in pain as she squeezed Tony's arm again.
"Ow"
"Really Tony?"

Once the midwife arrived it took another 5 hours of labour before Pepper was ready to push, Tony and I swapping out every other hour as her hand-holder (to let our cramping hands rest). Pepper handled it like a champ, only mildly abusing Tony, shouting much less than I had during my births.
She was pushing for just over an hour when Morgan H Stark was born into the world, Tony instantly bursting into tears as the baby was placed into his arms.

Deciding to give them a moment, I silently slipped outside, the sound of newborn cries stirring up emotions that I had pledged to suppress for the time being. Fighting a losing battle, I quickly made my way into the garden, sinking down onto the patio where I could cry without alerting the new parents.

"He's not stopping, I'm sure we've done everything" Clint said, nervously watching over my shoulder as I rocked Cooper in my arms, "do you think he's sick? Should we call a doctor?"
"Babe he's fine, he's just tired since someone-" I cut off to glare at him pointedly, "couldn't stop cooing at him yesterday"
"But he's just so tiny! You're supposed to coo at a face that adorable"
I just chuckled, turning around to rest my head on his shoulder as I continued to rock Cooper, Clint's hands resting on the back of my neck and rubbing in soothing motions.
"We've got this"
"Yeah - we've got this"

Not allowing my brain to run away with itself, I wiped my eyes roughly, forcing all the memories and guilt deep down to deal with later. This was Tony and Peppers happy day and i promised I'd be there to help. Clearing my throat, I walked back into the house with a smile, knocking lightly on the door to the bedroom.
"Can I come in?"
I realised the midwife had left, probably somewhere downstairs, as Pepper nodded tiredly.
Moving to the chair at the side of the bed, I peered over at Morgan, a more genuine smile spreading across my face.
"She's beautiful"
"She is, isnt she?"
"Looks like Pep" Tony added, his voice the softest I had ever heard it.

A comfortable silence settled over the room as we all admired the newborn who was dozing on Pepper's chest, hands curled into little fists.
"Thanks for being here Grace" Tony said suddenly, making me jolt slightly in my chair, "I - we - know this wasn't easy for you, so thank you"
"Thanks for letting me be here"
"Do you wanna hold her?"
I blanched at Pepper's question, palms getting slightly sweaty.
"I - I don't think that's the best idea -"
"I'll be right here, if you need me to take her I will" Tony assured me, his hand resting on my shoulder.
"O- Okay"
I held my breath as she was placed in my arms, letting it out shakily as Tony sat back down into his seat. The familiar warmth of a child in my arms was like a trigger, a choked sob wracking my body.
"I'm sorry - I'm so sorry - Tony I cant. I cant"
He scrambled to take her out of my arms, and I ran out of the room as soon as he had her, desperately trying to regain some kind of control over my emotions as I was barraged with the image of the boys dissolving in front of my eyes.