Duyên || Clint Barton

009 || support

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That night I was restless, falling to sleep around 4 in the morning, only to be shocked from my nightmare after half an hour.
I was exhausted, irritable and sad.
No matter what I told everyone, I knew deep inside that I wasn't fine. I didn't know if I ever would be again, and the thought of that scared me. Deeply.

Taking a shaky breath, I slowly slid out from under the covers, grabbing my robe as I silently slipped out of the door. The halls were deserted, my light footsteps echoing slightly as I walked. Wanting to be completely alone, I decided to go to the garage, knowing that no one really used this room.
I stole a key and stepped into the drivers seat of the car, resting my head on the steering wheel numbly. Flashes of my kidnapping flew through my brain, making my heart beat wildly as the images progressively got worse, a gasp ripping through my body as my throat closed up, the tightness the same as when I was hanging from the rope.

"Fucking hell Grace" Fury growled, leaping forward to sever the rope as Tony flew into the air and under me, holding my body up to relieve the pressure on my neck.
"You're okay" he said reassuringly, "you're gonna be okay"
"Where's Nat" I asked groggily
"Gone to chase the men that -"
"I want Nat" I whined quietly as the rope was cut and I was let down.
"Fury's here too"
I patted Tony's head weakly in thanks, reaching out for Fury. I was handed over gently, my body relaxing as I rested my head on his shoulder.
"We've gotta get her out of here now -"
My vision faded to black as they started moving, pain radiating throughout my body, my neck throbbing wildly.

I shook myself out of the memory.
It took me a few minutes to realise I was crying, but once I had it took everything in me not to sob. I brushed my hands through my hair, gasping for air as I started weeping.
A knock on the window made me jump in the seat, turning to see Bucky peering sadly into the car. A shaky sigh escaped my lips as I opened the door, avoiding eye contact with the super soldier.
"Are you okay?" He asked lowly, tentatively placing his hand on my shoulder.
I shook my head, trying to calm down.
"I just keep seeing it -" I whispered, my voice being broken off by a sob, "over and over again-"
Bucky pulled me into an awkward hug, though I was appreciative of the comfort.
"I still have nightmares almost every night, flashbacks of my time as .. well you know" he murmured, "I don't think it'll ever really go away"
"Does anyone know?"
"Marzia does - she was there when they were really bad - but I haven't told Steve"
"I don't want to tell Clint" I huffed, "he's been through enough, and this is one thing I don't think he needs to handle. He saw one of my nightmares, the first day here, but I've managed to hide the majority of them"
"That's up to you" Bucky shrugged, pulling away from the hug, "but if you ever feel like this again you can always come find me"
"Same to you" I smiled weakly, "we could be our own little fucked up support group"
Bucky let out a small laugh, nodding, "sounds like a plan - we should include the goats"
I laughed, wiping the tears from my cheeks, "I think donkey could use help as well"
"For his bipolar disorder? definitely" Bucky grimaced, rubbing his left leg, "you really weren't kidding about the timing issue"

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A/N: sorry that these have been shorter/irregular uploads the past few days. I've been in the hospital so I've been struggling to find time to write. I'll be in and out until next Tuesday, so I apologise if  uploads aren't the best. Thanks :)