Being a Trans Boy

18th August 2019 - I'm back, buddies

So, hi.

It's been a while.

I have quite a lot to catch up on.

Quick note, sorry for the length and the topics in this chapter.

I've been off wattpad for about 8 months or so now, purely because life has been getting in the way (my torn ACL, more specifically) and I'm an adult that has to do adult things. So I'll just brief you on my current situation before getting into the chapter.

Preferred Name: Kody
Age: 18
Gender: Trans Male
Living With: Dad and Younger Siblings
Hobbies: Dancing (still, hehe), Drawing, Singing, Making Music, Video Games

Rightio. Let's start then.

I'm 18 now.

I've become an adult this year so I can do whatever I want. I still don't have a license yet but I'm working on it.

I work Part-time at a Fuel Station because it's a 7 minute walk from dad's house (more on that later).

I got my first tattoo and have scheduled to get another one in a couple weeks from now. Plus, I got my tragus pierced and then pierced my helix on my own. Cause I'm cool like that :P

I shaved all my hair off recently so it's still growing back but it's blue now.

And yeah, that's pretty much my year summed up. Now on to the juicy stuff.

I was contacted back in February by Gender Pathways in Perth, WA, telling me I had been put on their waiting list. They're basically a mental health institution that meets with Transgender and Intersex people to discuss things like mental health (obviously), and the process of transitioning.

So I was REALLY fucking excited.

The only thing was, it then took 5 months to hear from them again and another month to actually get an appointment.

But I waited. God knows, I waited.

And finally, a female doctor called me to schedule an appointment. It was a video chat conference call, to save me the trouble of travelling down to Perth. She said that I would have to have 4-6 calls and I was like "Cool. One call a week, that's only 4-6 weeks. I've waited 6 months so a couple more weeks won't hurt."

...

But it did.

The first call went fine. We talked about me and, you know, experiences and stuff, and then we scheduled the next appointment the same time next week, which was Monday 12th August.

But that one was cancelled because of 'unforeseen circumstances' and rescheduled to Friday 16th.

That one was also cancelled.

And I'm not gonna lie, I cried a little.

Here I was, getting the help I needed to progress my transitioning, and it was being DELAYED. I had to wait ages before hearing anything and now, 1 appointment in, and I have to wait again.

This week in and of itself had just been a total nightmare.

2 cancelled appointments.

I was incredibly stressed from work, being everyone's shop boy bitch and all that jazz.

And finally... My Opa passed away on Tuesday. Which was a really big blow on my dad, as well as me and my siblings.

I was unmotivated at work and have now gotten back into an older habit of mine to induce pain to myself with a lucky band.

Work has been pretty shit, too, recently. Other than the obvious (rude customers), I've been left as an 'easy way out'. For example, if someone doesn't finish their jobs in the morning, I'm expected to get them done while also getting MY jobs done in the afternoon.

Upon receiving a big stock delivery last week, I was left to put it away despite it coming in in the morning, which took an hour and a half away from me completing my other jobs. And I got in trouble for not finishing everything, even after staying an extra hour without pay to try to finish.

Anyway, I'm kinda in a bad spot at the moment for obvious reasons.

On top of that, I have the worst crush on my ex-girlfriend/bff, even though she's dating our other best friend.

I hate my life at the moment.

The bit of stability or reassurance that 'everything will be fine' in this stupid game has left me and I now just wait for a break from it all, because that's all I do. I wait for things to happen. See where it goes.

This crush. Work. Transitioning.

I just wait, expecting it to sort itself out.

- Kody