Mr. Horny B*stard (Jungkook x Reader)

CHAPTER 11: FEEL SOMETHING

『✄- - -☞ Yoongi's POV ☜- - -✄』

A week has passed and when I woke this morning I was energetic, I was pumping myself up with music and doing little dances while driving to work and when I finally parked my car, I felt like shit. For the pass few days I've been locked up inside my house trying to cheer myself up, I watched a lot of feel good movies, did some work and ate a lot of food but my mind kept telling me I should go to work because life ya know.

I sigh as I locked my car wanting to go back to sleep, I enter the building saying hi to Soobin and Kai as they greet me back. I pressed the button to the elevator and rode it all the way up to the top floor, I head towards my office and slump onto my chair putting my head on the table.

I turn on my desktop seeing a bunch of notifications above the email icon, I crack my knuckles and starting reading through them one by one.
"That was a lot of work", I sighed after checking one email.
"I should really drink some coffee before I get to hard work, three emails", I chuckle to myself.
I go out of my office and head to the coffee machine, I grabbed a cup and set the machine to espresso as I press the button seeing the heavenly fluids drip into my cup. I grabbed some condensed milk and cream pouring them into my coffee as I lean on the countertop sighing in delight smelling the caffeinated fragrance.

"Oh your back", Y/N enters the room.
"What happened", Y/N plays with the settings of the coffee machine.
"It's confidential", I reply sipping some coffee.
"You're okay aren't you, that's all that matters", Y/N puts her reusable cup under the spout.
"I'm barely hanging on in this workplace but I'll pull through", we laugh.
"Well hope your week gets better, gotta go before Jungcock finds me", Y/N smiles as she dashes away.

I sigh and keep drinking my coffee, I feel empty inside and I don't know what to do. I just aimlessly stare at the wall and hope my brain magically lights up, it's like I'm floating in space looking down on people, it's like i'm not meant to be here. I haven't found my purpose yet, will I ever?

I just want to sleep and forget about everything, I want to feel safe and imagine all of my fantasies in my bed. I want something real. I grab my AirPods in my pocket and plug them into my ears while I scroll through my playlist until stopping at Feel Something by Bea Miller (A/N: you should listen to it, she's a queen and issa mood)

I walk back to my office and bop my head to the song as I go back to work, opening and reading these emails. I couldn't hear the outside world as I replied to the letters, I felt at peace for once. The clock ticked in the background as I vibed with the song playing on repeat.
"I just wanna feel something, I just wanna feel. Something really real so that I can really feel like a person again", I sang.

It brought me back to my school days. My mum said I was always a quiet kid who kept to myself, I didn't really like talking because it took too much work, I got tired of it easily. People saw me as weird and kept away from me, I didn't mind because I like being alone. I spent time in the library reading books, writing music or sleeping, I wanted to be somewhere that wasn't here, I wanted to be away from this modern dystopia and somewhere in my own utopia, somewhere that I could find my euphoria.

My life started to become a seesaw, one moment it was the greatest time in life then it turned shit and went downhill. Soon good days turned to bad, then good days and bad weeks started to become more frequent, I kept telling myself that today was gonna be awesome and wasn't going to be worse than yesterday but in reality it was shit. My seesaw was unbalanced, one person sat on one end and the other left.

I was carrying this constant stigma wherever I went, everything seemed so miserable and it's been happening for the last few years. Days seemed darker and nights seemed pitch black, the back of my head spoke louder and made me self conscious, i was fighting with myself and I don't think I can win.

"Oh you're back", I raise my head seeing Hobi.
"Sorry I didn't drop by, had a lot of emails", I replied putting my head back down.
"No worries, how's it going".
"I feel a bit better but I don't think it's gonna go away".
"Yoongi I'm worried", Hobi sat in front of me.
"I've been suffering from this for a long time, I'm used to it. I'm used to the different prescriptions, I'm used to going to doctors that say I'm doing worse, I'm used to people looking at me weirdly. What's changed, nothing. So stop worrying and do work, i assume you haven't finished", I say lifelessly.
"How am I suppose to work when you feel like shit", Hobi starts brushing through my hair.
"Hobi. People have their bad days, I just have bad weeks it's nothing to be concerned about. You've been working perfectly fine while I've had depression before, even better when you didn't know. I'm fine, just need to sleep", the table rebounds my voice.
"I'm not convinced, let me take you out today", Hobi suggests happily.
"Hobi... you're talking to me".
"I'm not leaving if you don't agree", Hobi sing songs.
"You'll lose your job, go for it".
"I'll spam you".
"I'll block you".
"Yoongi.", Hobi says sternly.
"Nope"
"I promise we won't move that much".
"How long do I have to be out".
"2-3 hours".
"Sssssss that's a bit expensive".
"I'll pay for everything".
"That's not enough, going once", I slap the table.
"Going twice".
"So-"
"I won't bug you that much", Hobi interrupts quickly.
"Deal", I smile.
"You raise a tough bargain but the end result will be beautiful", Hobi smiles back.