Things Unsaid

Finally Home

The next morning I woke up to the sun shining through the hospital windows. My bracelet no longer had any numbers on it left. I was free. I was alive. I felt like a million bucks.

This was the day that my life finally came back.

Still being careful, but not limping like a dead man, I strolled into the little bathroom and got cleaned up. It wasn't until after the steamed up mirrors slowed down that I noticed my own reflection.

I was bald. Chemo was supposed to do that, but it still struck me oddly enough. I didn't seem like me without my hair. Nobody told me that I was, but here I am looking quite hairless and pasty. That's funny. I don't even feel as ill as I look. A part of me wanted to cry, but another part of me kind of just stayed in that shell-shock. The reflection didn't even resemble me. How long had I looked like this? 

Shaking it off, I realized that it didn't really matter. I am me. Not my hair, or circles under my eyes. I continued to get dressed, casually putting on a pair of my favorite sweatpants and a comfy purple shirt. The hospital is usually cold, so I threw on a light zippered sweater on top. After I got changed, there was a knock on my door. Nine on the dime. It was breakfast time. A nurse walked in with a platter of cream of wheat, orange juice, water for the pills, and a yogurt. 

"Last day, huh? You have done quite well over you're stay here. I'm actually going to miss bringing you breakfast and seeing your smiling face." Nurse Racheal said.

"I'll miss you and the meals too, Rae." I said, with a smile. 

She looked at me and noticed that the mirror behind me was in clear view. Maybe it was a look I gave or something, but she gave me this saddened face. "Oh, Angie. You have always been beautiful. Never let yourself to worry about the chemo and it's effects on your hair."

A bit chocked up, it was difficult to speak about my hair. Words couldn't flow through me anymore, and as I leaked a few tears, streaming down my face, Racheal gave me a hug, and offered a tissue. When the moment passed, I had to let it all go.

"Your parents called. They will be here in an hour, so in the meantime you can start packing."

My parents. Packing. Home. My heart skipped a few beats just thinking about the possibility of going home. It seemed surreal. At this point, my normal life before seemed so distant, like a memory of a story I read years ago.

"Would you like me to stay and help?"

"I think I got it."

She smiled and started walking out the door.

"Wait!" I called out, just remembering something. She turned back towards me with inspired eyes.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for everything."

"Anytime, Angie. Anytime at all."

~~~

After an hour of packing, I placed photos, clothing, and all the few objects I kept with me during the chemotherapy process. After one last check of the room, I had everything, and walked out. A sense of freedom overwhelmed me as I finally felt free. Free to live my life again, a stronger person than before. Ready for senior prom, graduation, college, and the rest of my life. As I strolled down the hallway, no longer attached to IV, the nurses and doctors all wished me luck. Everyone was so friendly, but then again, they always were. But today, there was something else. Pride. Happiness. Joy to see me okay at last.

As if in a dramatic soap opera, almost in slow motion, I walked into the main entrance area and was greeted by my family. My mom, dad, Christine, and Jake were all waiting with balloons and open arms. Tears of joy strung down all of our faces, and I ran into their group hug arms. Everything was finally perfect. 

"Angie Ricci! A surviver and strong girl. We knew you would make it." My dad said.

"I'm so so glad everything wen't okay! Are you okay? You're okay. We love you so very very much, Angie." Mom added.

"I knew you could do it, sis." Christine said all teary eyed.

Jake came over and gave me a little kiss. It was romantic, but not too much for being right in front of my parents who were gracious enough to let him into the personal family moment. But that kiss meant a thousand words.

We all stood there for what felt like an eternal happiness. I had all of my belongings, and I had the most wonderful family. The Ricci's had always been an emotion filled group, but there was no way anyone could be in that moment and not shed tears.

Everything was finally perfect.

"Time to go home, Angie."

There was nothing more to think or say. I was finally going home.