observe | g.d

| 15

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August's P.O.V

I feel like I might've made a mistake.

After telling Grayson I wanted to take it slow, to him it almost seems like he thought that meant I wanted to have nothing more than a friendship.

We've been talking, and hangout out since then. A lot.

I've been having a blast, don't get me wrong. But I feel like he's different, he's not flirting as much, and by that I mean at all. He's also been kind of distant, I feel like I have to initiate everything for it to even keep on going.
Conversations included.

For example, the other night when we hung out.

...

"Damn!" He groaned, detaching his hand from the arcade game controls.

I laugh, crossing my arms as I watch him.

"I told you, you couldn't beat my score."

He playfully glared at me.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, I bet I could beat you in the photo booth game."

I laugh.

"Grayson, that is not a game."

"It could be, if I took more photos than you. Then, I'd have beaten you at that!"

I sigh.

"You know, you're right. But at least I'd have gotten to see a bunch of cute photos of you." I smile, taking a step closer to him as I moved my hand closer to his.

He looked down at our hands, then moved his away, shoving it in his back pocket.

He laughs.

"Yeah, uh, should we go count our tickets?"

I bit my bottom lip in defeat, as I stared down at the floor. I nodded, before gesturing my hand for him to lead the way.

...

Things could not have been more awkward. Even thinking about it makes my skin crawl.

That night, I had tried many times to hint that I was interested in more than a friendship. He either didn't pick it up or he brushed it off.

I almost felt like I was just embarrassing myself. I was probably coming off needy, and desperate. All of the things that I was afraid of becoming.

I guess we all want what we can't have.

He clearly shows no interest in me and now I want him. Yet before when he was coming on to me, I pushed him away.

I've been debating on telling him how I really feel, that I'm ready to have something more than whatever we are right now. But, I'm afraid.

I don't know if he truly lost interest because I waited too long, or if he's waiting for me to make it very clear that I like him. Even if I do make it clear, he might turn me down.

Grayson is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, I appreciate everything he has done for me in the short while we've known each other and I don't want to go back to what life without him was. Reality, because when I'm with him I almost forget about everything else. It all just feels perfect, and I'm not ready to stop dreaming.

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AUTHORS NOTE
More Grayson content soon, I promise!