AfterLife

Chapter 23: Confession

It’s been about two days since I seperated from Void. I know I just did it to keep him safe but I regret it. I recently realized how his company was the only thing keeping me from going insane. Without him I probably would’ve snapped a while ago. I miss having somebody to talk to, no matter how annoying they were. Sighing, I began climbing down the tree I was in. I had been wandering around the park and the nearby woods for the last two days, trying to think of the best plan of action to get a train ticket and get out of here. Once down from the tree I dusted myself off. While I did so a young man passed by with his dog while eating a sandwich that he had probably gotten from one of the nearby stores. I had gotten used to passersby by now and since I looked human they didn’t pay any attention to me. However, seeing food just reminded my brain of how hungry I was. I hadn’t eaten in at least three days and, being mostly human, I was starving. Going through my pockets I pulled out three Phantrs and five Laepes. I had found it in the back pocket of the jeans I had stolen a day ago. It was definitely enough for some food. Putting it back in my pocket I pulled my hat down and walked towards the main street that had lots of stores. Once in the crowds the voice came back. 
“Look at us we’re starving half to death. Let’s just kill a few and then we won’t be hungry for days.”
Why won’t this stupid voice just shut up. I looked up to see where I was and found out I had subconsciously walked into a butcher’s shop. Fine. If this will make it shut up. After paying 3 Phantrs and 3 Laepes I left with about 3 pounds of raw steak. Walking down the street I used my last 2 Laepes to buy a bottle of water. Since I was (mostly) human again I actually needed to drink water. Instead of going back to the park I decided to go into the woods. It was more private there and with how hungry as was at the moment I shouldn’t really be around people. I’ve almost lost it and killed someone about three times already. Getting to the edge of the woods I saw a hiking path and decided to use it to get farther into the woods without having to go through all the undergrowth. After about ten minutes I went off the path and through bushes and trees. Eventually I came to a spot that wasn’t entirely overgrown by plants and sat down. Pulling out the water  bottle from the paper bag the store had given me I downed half of it. It felt strange getting thirsty again. I had gotten used to never needing to drink anything. My stomach growled. I sighed and began collecting sticks to make a fire. I was lucky enough to remember how to make one from the training they gave hatchlings when they joined the nest. They taught them survival skills in case they were ever stranded for long periods of time. Once I had some wood to make a fire I began the process of lighting one. After about 30 minutes I finally managed to light one, and just on time. It was getting darker and that meant it was getting colder too. I turned around and grabbed the package from the butcher’s. With a bit of difficulty I got a smaller piece of steak off to cook.
“Why Are we cooking the damn thing just eat it.”
I looked at the steak and realized I now had no want to cook it. Thanks a lot me. Despite not really wanting too I proceeded to get ready to cook it anyway.
“Just.Eat.It”
Apparently my human conscious had no choice in the matter and two seconds later, I was eating uncooked steak. It didn’t taste great (obviously) but it made the voice shut up and my stomach calm down. Afterwards I downed the rest of my water to get the remaining taste out of my mouth. But now I was out of water and I knew I would need more. Standing up, I made a mental map of the way back to my fire as I walked back to the path. Once there I started on my way back to the shopping district. My plan is to knock someone out again and this time just steal their money. Then I could go to any open store and buy more water. It wasn’t the best plan in the world but it was a plan. By the time I got to the shopping district the sun had fully set and it was pitch dark. The lamp-lighters were going down the street and lighting the lamps which added little but some light to the street. Walking past them I went down the street towards an area with more stores hoping to find someone out this late at night. Luckily for me I saw someone after just a few minutes of looking. He was walking the same direction as me so his back was to me. Quickening my pace, I started coming up behind him. Just before I got to him however someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into an alley. Instinctively I jabbed whoever had grabbed me in the stomach then turned around and punched them in the face. I couldn’t see too well because the lamp light didn’t reach the whole alleyway but I could tell it was man.
“Pervert, not used to there being a lady strong enough to get you off?”
“Well, good luck getting him off.”
“Wha-”
Someone from behind grabbed me and I felt a knife against my back. Quickly whipping my arm around I twisted the knife to face my attacker's stomach and used their own hand to stab them instead. I whipped around and saw it was another pudgier man. I was about to just run and get out of there when a knife went up to my throat.
“Now don’t move or I’ll kill you.”
“She already died once I doubt she would care if she died again.”
Was that-!?
“What the-!”
The knife went away from my throat and I heard a scream behind me. I quickly turned around and saw the man lying dead on the ground. Void was standing next to him.
“Void what are you-?”
Before I could say anything he turned around and hugged me. Void has never hugged me before.
“You idiot!”
I didn’t respond. Void doesn’t hug. He’s never hugged me before.
“This is why you don’t run off! You’re not invincible. What if I hadn’t been here and you died?”
“H-How did you know-?”
“Did you really think I was going to let you just leave without me knowing if you were going to be ok?
“Why then? Why did you follow me just to make sure I was ok? Why do you care about me at all!? Why do you risk your life just to make sure I’m ok!? I never did anything to help you!”
“It’s because I love you dumbass!”
I fell silent. I felt Void hug me tighter. So that’s why he’s been staying with me this whole time. Suddenly he was gone and I saw a shadow melting away. It started dashing down the street.
“Void, wait!”
I ran down the street after him. If he thought he could just run off after I just found out he had been basically stalking me for about three days then confessing to me he had another thing coming. But shit, he was fast. It was even harder keeping track of where he was going because of how dark it was out. He started getting farther and farther away and then he darted around a corner. Pushing myself to go faster I made a sharp turn around the corner and ran directly into someone. Not even stopping to apologize, I stood back up and kept running forward. It was then that I realized I had lost sight of Void. Shit that idiot! I stopped running to catch my breath. Suddenly to my right I thought I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning my head I didn’t see anything at first. After a minute however I realized that one of the shadows didn’t look quite right. Wavy, almost.
“Void, I’m not stupid, I’ve been around you long enough to tell when your hiding.”
No response.
“A-Alex?”
Holy fuck please don’t let that be who I think it is.
“Alex is that you?”
I turned to look to my right. Fuck.
“Oh my god Alex it is you.”
He rushed over and hugged me before I could respond.
“R-Rin please.”
I said, muffled as I was currently getting smothered.
“I thought you-I thought you were the one who- I thought...”
He hugged me even tighter making it even harder for me to breath.
“Rin please I was-”
“Alex why did you leave?”
“Rin I-”
“Do you know how worried I was?”
“RIN STOP!”
I pushed him away from me.
“Rin listen. I left because I had things I needed to do. I left because I couldn’t come back after- after KILLING somebody!”
“Alex what are you-?”
“Rin listen, there’s no gentle way to say this so I’m just going to tell you how it is: those Raven’s who died? That- that was me.”
Rin was looking more and more confused and concerned.
“Alex what are you saying? That was a poltergeist, and a powerful one at that. You’re not dead. You’re solid.”
“Rin, I don’t know how it happened either but that was me understand? I need you to understand that I can’t come back with you.”
Rin’s face fell.
“So it...it was you… I was hoping…”
“I’m sorry.”
Rin didn’t say anything.
“I’m leaving soon.”
This time Rin responded.
“Leaving? What do you-?”
“I’m finding a train to somewhere that isn’t here. Somewhere I won’t have to constantly look over my shoulder.”
There was a moment of awkward silence.
“I’m going to-”
“Alex wait.”
Rin reached into his pockets and pulled two papers out. He handed me the first one.
“Rin is this-?”
“A train ticket? Yeah. I’m supposed to go there for an assignment but I can just buy another one.”
“Rin thank you…”
“There’s something else.”
He handed me the second paper.
“Rin…”
I hugged Rin. He had given me a picture of Sarah, Aarav, and me, from Sarah and I’s 10th birthday from 7 years ago. The last birthday we spent with him.
“Thank you.”
Rin gave me a tight squeeze than turned around and began walking away. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was fighting back tears.
“I’ll send letters, ok?”
He waved and kept walking. I stuffed the ticket in my pocket then gently folded and placed the photo in my other one. Rubbing my eyes I looked back at the wall and saw the shadow was now normal. Then I saw someone at the corner down the street. I sighed, relieved. He hadn’t run off again. I started quickly walking down the street then slowed down. I had just fully processed what he said to me. I quickly turned around and walked the other direction. Then I stopped and leaned against a wall. He had been entirely serious when he told me that. I felt my face go red. Shit. After I got myself to not look like I had a severe sunburn, I turned and walked back down to the corner.
“Void.”
He turned around. This time I slapped him on purpose. 
“Alex what was-.”
“That was for stalking me then running off.”
I sighed.
“All the same you saved my life, so thanks.”
He rubbed his face.
“Yeah, don’t mention it.”
Even though it was dark, I could see he was turning red. I changed the subject.
“Did you hear any of our conversation?”
“No, I left I soon as I saw him.”
“Well then I should probably tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Leaving? What do you mean?”
“I’m going to a place that’s far away from here and then hopefully farther.”
His face darkened.
“How?”
“By train. Rin gave me a train ticket.”
I pulled the ticket out of my pocket.
“So I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“We.”
“What?”
“We are leaving tomorrow.”
“What makes you think I’m letting you come with me?”
“I’m not letting you ditch me in the Raven crowded city.”
“Void listen, you can’t come.”
“Then tell me why. Why shouldn’t I come with you?”
“It’s a bad idea ok?”
“WHY is it a bad idea? Are you still afraid you’re going to kill me?”
“Yes! I am afraid I might kill you!”
“Alex I could give less of a shit. If you don’t want to kill someone then you won’t.”
“Even if I don’t want to kill you, she does.”
“She? Who is she?”
“Just because I look like person doesn’t mean I am one. For the past three days it’s been like having two consciences. One is my own and the other is just the one that wants to kill everything.”
“Oh...”
“I left because she wanted to kill you and I was afraid she actually would.”
“Alex, I still don’t care. If you’ve held her off this long then you’ll be fine.”
“But-”
“You’ll be fine.”
“Augh, fine! If you’re going to be this stubborn then come with me. If I kill you at least it won’t be fully my fault. Now let’s go somewhere that isn't in the middle of the street.”
I turned around and began to walk away.
“Alex, one more thing.”
“What is it now?”
I turned back around.
“Do you have any idea on why you can still touch me? If you’re solid again shouldn’t you just go right through me?
“Probably because I’m technically not a human being.”
“Isn’t it still a bit weird?”
“Compared to everything else that’s happened? Not at all.”
    Alex turned back around and kept walking. I went into shadows to follow her in case we ran into anybody. It was also so she couldn’t see how red my face currently was. She pretended it didn’t happen but I know she heard me and I know she understood what I had said. Right now it may be better to just not mention it.