The Ruels of My Heart

chapter ten - ruel's perspective

"Never mind, this place looks pretty lame," I say to Coco, grabbing her arm and pulling her straight past the coffee shop. I sense her look into the shop, and I can see her eyes widen when she sees Zac and Leo.
"Ruel-" She starts to say but I cut her off.
"Please just come. I'll explain everything when we sit down. This place looks pretty nice," I say pointing to a quirky little sushi bar a couple of shops ahead of us.
"Okay," She says, and I'm grateful she hasn't asked any questions yet. I can feel a lump rising in my throat. I don't want to say anything because I'm scared that I'll just start crying. I can feel my eyes already blurring. My head hurts. I feel dizzy. I really need to sit down.
I feel very overwhelmed about what I just saw. So? Of course Leo's allowed to kiss whoever she wants. She easily could, she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen. But Zac? Why does it have to be Zac? I don't know why I am so bothered by it. I know that Leo thinks of me as nothing more then a jerk, but I am just so so attracted to her. Wanting something you can't have only makes you want it more.
Coco and I enter the sushi bar and each grab a tray of sushi. We sit down and it is only then that I find words.
"It's stupid really. I like this girl called Leo. I know that she doesn't like me back. And she was just kissing Zac," I explain quietly. I usually adore sushi, but right now I don't touch it. I don't think I could, even if I felt like it. I feel frozen. Paralysed.
Coco doesn't say anything. She studies my face, reading my emotions. I know that she can see how miserable I feel. She pulls me into a tight, protective, little-brother type of hug. I bury my face into her shoulder.
"I really like her," I mumble to Coco.
"It'll be okay Ruel," she says to me, "Maybe it's just not meant to be. But if it is, it will work out. Either way, you'll always have me. And Sylvie. Surely we're much more important then all the other girls in the world combined."
Coco pats my head affectionately. I'm so incredibly grateful to have my sisters in my life, I don't realise it often enough. I would be an ever bigger mess without them.
"I hope you're right," I sniff, "I barely even know her, but I just find myself loving everything about her. I can't help it."

I lie on my bed, staring at my ceiling, just like last night. Over thinking everything, just like last night. I hate that Leo has this effect on me. But a tiny part of me likes it too. The way she can control me, and every single thing that I think about. She doesn't even know that she does. She probably never will. Especially if she's dating Zac. Zac is like a brother to me. I would hate for things to end with me making a fool of myself, ruining their relationship, and losing my best friend. Leo probably hasn't thought of me once since the concert. But I almost wish she knew that she hasn't left my mind. Not once.