State of Heart

Hummingbird: Part 2

Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

My ears must be deceiving me. They have to be. There is no possible way that those words rolled off her tongue. Not those two little words; not those eleven simple letters. There's no way in hell. It can't be possible. My mind must be playing tricks on me by imagining it all. That's the only plausible excuse. Just my cruel thoughts toying with my emotions.

It's just my hopeful thinking.

"Shut up," I breathe, fighting back a smile. "Shut up, shut up, shut up. No, it doesn't."

"Yes. Yes, it does," she laughs, running her fingers through her inky locks. "Look."

I hesitate but push up from the tub. An anxious ball forms in my stomach, but I ignore it and glimpse down at the small test in Liz's hand. I almost expect to be disappointed by what I see but am met with astonishment. My heart nearly skips a beat as my stare skims the results shown on the test's display, almost taking my breath away.

There, staring back at me, are two bold, pink lines. Not one bold line with a faint or barely existing companion. Not one bold line and nothing next to it. Not one but two beautifully bold lines that cannot be mistaken. Staring back at me is a beautiful positive pregnancy test.

"No way," I gasp, taking the test from Liz. "No way...no way...no way...no way." My hands tremble from the excitement bubbling within me as I cuff my hand over my mouth. "I-it's positive."

She nods, smiling, "I know. I know, babe. It's positive."

"It's really positive. Like, really, really positive," I laugh.

"Yeah," she continues, stroking her thumbs along my cheeks. "It is. It is really, really positive. You're pregnant."

Those words hit like a train. It doesn't feel real. None of it does. After all this time -after constantly tracking my cycle, after going through countless donor files, after three failed attempts, and after almost losing all hope...it doesn't feel real. But if this is the reality and not a figment of my imagination, then I gladly welcome it. I gladly and openly welcome it with a smile on my face.

"I'm pregnant," I repeat. "I'm...I'm pregnant." My eyes widen. "Liz, we're gonna be moms!"

"I know, I know," she chortles. "Calm down. Are you okay? Do you need to sit or –"

"Of course, I'm okay!" I beam happily. "I'm more than okay! I feel like I could do a backflip!"

Her eyebrows shoot up as she chuckles, "Well, you never could do those, so let's not start now."

My eyes meet hers. She is looking back at me with so much warmth and happiness, the emotions brimming and overflowing from the surface. She feels it too. She feels that exact same overwhelming elation that I feel. That same fuzzy feeling that bubbles in the stomach. The kind of feeling that leaves someone grinning from ear to ear with excitement. Then again, there's no proper way to put what I see staring back at me into words. I just know I'm happy and so is she.

"I'm just happy, Liz. I'm just so damn happy. I was starting to lose faith and was about to just give up and now...now I'm so happy." I take her hands into mine and squeeze them firmly. "We did it. We really did it."

She presses her lips against my forehead and breathes soothingly, "We did. I always knew we would."

"Tch. You're just saying that," I snort.

"No. I always knew. From the moment I met you I just knew."

I roll my eyes jokingly. "Corny much?"

She shrugs, "Maybe. But you still fell for me, didn't ya?"

I did.

I did fall for her. So effortlessly, too. From the very start, it felt natural. Talking to her...being around her...thinking about her; none of it felt wrong. It always felt so right. It still feels right. Which always brings to mind one question. How could something as beautiful as our love be classified as a sin? How can something as raw as love be seen as an abomination?

That's what I fail to understand. But standing here with her, her eyes peering into mine as her arms hold me close, I am certain of one thing. I am exactly where I need to be with exactly the right person I need to be with. At the end of it all, that's all that matters. That we are happy. That we are happy together.

"Maybe I did," I tease, looping my arms around her waist. She feels so warm. "But what was I to do? A simple girl like me couldn't resist all that sexiness of yours."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Do say more. Flattery will get you everywhere."

I lean closer, smirking, "So strong. The way you balanced those trays just made my heart skip a beat. And how you remembered my ranch every time I ordered. Such a good memory."

"Oh, yeah, baby. Keep talking dirty dishes to me," she whispers as she snakes her arms around my waist. A smile tugs at the corners of her lips.

I could tease her. I could keep this up, but I don't want to. All joking aside, Liz means so much to me. No matter what, she is my rock. She is the anchor in the waves when skies are stormy. She is the better part of me when I feel like I'm losing control of myself. She is so much more than breasts and ass -more than flesh and bone. She is more than our past. She is our past, present, and future.

I place my hand along the side of her face and breathe, "Your touch makes me feel safe and sound like home. Your smile makes me forget every worry I have. I can see the stars in your eyes, leaving me speechless. The beauty of your mind constantly leaves me thinking of bigger and better things." I gently press my lips to hers. "Above all, the kindness of your heart makes me feel so warm and comfortable."

I can feel the goosebumps on her skin brush against me as she holds me. "There's no one else I rather have to light up my world. I love you, Novalynn."

I smile, "I love you too, Elizabeth."

© 2019 K.N. Herzner