My Childhood Friend Turned Soulmate (Philip Hamilton X Reader)

From Me to You

"Pops? Have you seen the carriage driver? I have to head to the park in a few minutes!" I called through the house. I hopped down the stairs as I pulled my left boot up and fastened it, then pulling my curly hair back a little bit so I could see better. 

"He's in the back! I'm pretty sure I saw him working on that wonky wheel." I heard my dad yell from his office. A grip of anxiety appeared in my stomach, knowing that that wheel would take way too long to finish fixing if he just started now. 

I went out back and saw the said carriage missing a wheel, and the driver working like mad on the axle. 

"Ah! Mr. Hamilton! Don't worry, the carriage should be in tip top shape in just a moment!" James, the driver announced with his cheery accent. I couldn't be mad at the guy, but the fact that this could make me late irritated just a bit.

"Here, let me help!" I smiled, doing everything to make sure that this process would go as quickly as possible.

20 minutes after I was supposed to leave, the carriage was back on four wheels and ready to ride to its next destination- which for me was the most important destination of my life. 

(Y/N) had no idea- I made sure of that, of how much she actually meant to me. Well, that's not true. I made sure that she did know that I appreciated her as my friend, with the constant letters, the meetups, the small acts of affection that I knew drove her crazy. But for some reason I just couldn't come up with the courage to be more than that.

Honestly it seemed silly, in the type of universe that we live in where we just know who the supposed "one" is right off the bat. There isn't a challenge, it's just designed like that. But something inside me wanted to fight for her. I felt like that I should deserve to have someone as amazing as that one girl I call my childhood friend- my best friend even. 

I didn't always feel this way I admit. When we first met I thought I would meet this girl, we would play a few games, and then she would leave. That seemed like what would happen, I didn't think anything of it. Then we met some more, and we grew closer, and suddenly I wanted to be around her as much as possible. 

That day when my mother told me and (Y/N) about the idea of the soulmate, I didn't know what that fully entailed. I was taught that a soulmate was like a best friend- a best friend but more. So, like any child with that level of understanding, I announced that I wanted (Y/N) to be mine. Little did I know I kept that mentality for the rest of my life.

My heart broke when I knew I was going to a boarding school halfway across the state. It felt like that quick end to our friendship decided to be cruel and come just when I thought me and her would be friends forever. But she had such a bright smile and was so encouraging when she talked about all the great things she thought I would end up doing, that I secretly vowed to myself that I would see her again. 

School was an inviting environment, and though she wasn't there with me, I had a good time. I realized then that I didn't fully rely on her, like how I noticed my parents didn't fully rely on each other. My father would stay cooped up in his office regularly, while my mother would take care of the house, of the shopping, and taking care of me and my other army of siblings. But even if they were separate often, I still caught my father looking at my mother reading my youngest brother a bedtime story with a certain look in his eyes. He seemed peaceful for that little moment, which was a rare sight on my father's face, like he knew that whatever happened with his life or with his job, he still had his wife- his soulmate, to call his own. 

While I could last on my own just fine, I still caught myself looking forward to the day that her letters would arrive to my dorm. I kept every single letter she sent, and I kept all the quills she sent me in a little jar on the corner of my desk. No matter how difficult class ended up being or how stressful the other boys in my school were, I could look to her words as a steady place, a ship in rough waters, and everything would be alright. 

Once my homeroom teacher mentioned that for the next few months all the students could return home before reaching their final year, my heart raced at being able to see her again. It had seemed like a lifetime since I had last talked to her as her letters were rare and I wasn't able to write as often as I would have hoped. I was so excited to be able to hold her like I imagined when I was especially lonely at school, that I didn't even stop to think if I would even recognize her when I saw her in that cafe that afternoon.

As soon as she acknowledged me and that beautiful smile once again graced her features, I felt home again, and it was at that moment that I realized that the announcement I made as a kid still remained true- but now I knew what I was getting myself into.

There was just something about her that kept me craving more of her presence, and since that day in the cafe I knew that I had fallen into a deep cavern that I couldn't get out of; not that I really wanted to anyway. I don't know if it was the fact that she was my first real friend, or the fact that all those years apart made me miss and want her even more, but I knew that there was absolutely no way I could find someone as amazing as her. If somehow we weren't destined to be together, the universe would better have a damn good replacement if it expects me to want them even more than (Y/N).

Just the idea of her being with someone else made a small spark of anger and jealousy grow in my gut; and though it seemed selfish, I couldn't see her get along with someone as well as she did with me. 

I had tried to cheat fate a couple hours early at the ball my father threw for my birthday. She looked so gorgeous that night, and it felt too right when she was dancing in my arms, completely calm as we swayed to the music. I knew I had to do something, but it seemed like the universe had other ideas and pulled us apart. 

There was no way that the universe would be that cruel, right? To have us get that close and then show that we weren't destined to be together in the end?

James pulled the carriage to a stop in front of the park and, after saying a quick goodbye to him, I raced to the meeting place. The trees waved as I ran past, barely paying attention to the locks of curls that were wrecking my vision. Nearly tripping over a few rocks, the hill finally came into view, and there in a sky blue dress was (Y/N).

"(Y/N)! I'm here!" I yelled, trying to get her attention. She turned to me, and it felt like the world, although rickety from the rough arrival, was right again once I saw her smile. 

I ran up the last few feet it took to get to the top of the hill and started to apologize. Honestly I was glad she was still here; I thought for sure she would have ditched by now, but she stayed all the same.

Things got quiet soon after, and I didn't really know what to say. She didn't talk either, so I just took the time to really look at her. It was hard to pinpoint one thing that made her stand out to me, just all of her was so attractive it took everything in me not to rush at her and just hold her. 

This young woman standing in front of me, was everything I hoped my future would look like. She was so bright and steady that just looking at her made me feel like I would be alright, just as long as I kept her in my life then life would be happy. 

I wish there was a way for me to show this to her, but for now, I just had to prove one thing.

"One." 

Please let it be her.

If there was a way I could show how much I appreciated this girl in front of me, it was if we were soulmates. I wanted her too much to let her go.

"Two."

Please please let it be her.

I loved her too much to let her go.

"Three."

The fabric covering the marking vanished from view, and my heart stopped dead in its tracks.