Taming of the Dude: One man's Journey with Jesus

Mom is in the shower

Chapter 1- Mom is in the shower

"Children shouldn't have to sacrifice so that you can have the life you want. You make sacrifices so your children can have the life that they deserve" Words to Live by.

In the seventies, it was not cool or hip to be a broken family. My mom left my dad when I was four. We were told at the time it was because my dad was abusive and an alcoholic. Like everything in this world, there are usually two sides to the story. In this case, there must have been at least 3 possibly more. In the passage of time, I heard that dad was abusive and drunk because he had a rare disease that was eating his body from the inside. He drank to numb himself to that fact that he was going to die and he was going to die young. In his case, my dad passed away at the age of 42 from early-onset dementia or Alzheimers. In the last years of his life, he was bedridden and a shell of a man. It was not pretty and for a boy in his formative years, well, not a pretty sight and fuel for many a nightmare. The other theory was mom was sleeping with the border that was living at the house. From what I have been told he was a university student and he moved with us when mom left dad. I was four, so a lot of these details I do not remember but it could very well be possible.

Back to the story, as I said, my mom was young she had three children and quite possibly no idea about parenting. My mom had meant my dad at a bar and their relationship went quickly. I am not sure if after the first date mom was pregnant with my sister or the second but one thing is for sure my mom was pregnant. She was only 18 and had only finished grade 8 at school. Her prospects did not look good but dad did take responsibility for his actions and they were married. It was not a marriage blessed by either parent which might have added to the strain that existed in the marriage. Again not making excuses because I do believe if Christ was in the marriage then their lives would have been different. Since Christ was not, well, my mom would leave her children on weekends to find happiness. It usually took the form of a bar, booze, and a drunken sailor. It was good times. As for us kids well it meant no rules, no limits to the stuff we could do. My older sister would invite her friends over and they would do stuff and we would try to join in if they let us. Often they would not. We would have to be content with making our own fun of tackle football on the stairs which were lined with mattresses so no one would get hurt. Or making the upstairs hallway a slip and slide whereby we would run from my mom's room hit the hallway floor naked and try to slide to our room at the end of the hall.

Most of the time, everything went without any problems but that can only last for so long. One evening a neighbor or a busy body must have wondered why the house was causing such a ruckus. If I had thought about it, our house could seem strange with all the banging, yelling and loud music. It might seem to the outsider that there was no parent at home which to the eyes of the law is wrong. In any event, it must have been around 11 o'clock when there was a knock at the door. I answered it and there was a very large man standing there in a blue suit. He looked at me and said, "son, is your mother home." I am not sure if I peed myself but I did run to my sister and told her that there is a policeman at the door. My sister is probably the bravest person I know because she did not flinch, definitely did not pee herself but calmly went to the door. She asked the officer if she could help him. The officer told her that they were wanting to talk to our mother. My sister did not skip a beat but responded, "Oh, I am so sorry officer but my mother is in the shower." "I can run upstairs and tell her that you are here." My sister must have been very convincing because the officer said that it was fine but to let her know that there have been complaints about noise. Again my sister calmly told the officers that she will let our mother know and there should not be any more noise since everyone is retiring for the evening. The officer seemed pleased with the answers that my sister made up and left the house. I stood there, shaking, not sure of what all had happened. My sister went upstairs to the washroom and pretended to tell my mom that we needed to be quiet and we probably should go to bed. I guess my sister felt an obligation to follow through with her promise to the police officer.

After the close call, we all kind of slow down a bit. We continue to listen to music and I even won an album from the radio station. It was an ELO album. I was quite pleased with myself. I was so pleased with myself that the officer and the awkward accident I had was all safely tucked away into the past.

The next day when mom returned from her own adventures, our sister told her about the little adventure that happened. It must have scared my mom because she was going to make changes. You remember those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. Well, my mom was not going to repeat the mistake of leaving us alone while she goes out. No way, she was not going to jeopardize her family or her free time activities. Instead, she was going to stay home and be a responsible parent, you make think. No, not my mom, she was going to have us farm ourselves out to our friends. She was going to divide and conquer. If we could not effectively parent ourselves then she was going to get someone else's parents to take care of us. My mom was a clever one when it came to parenting or not parenting. Anyways that will bring us to our next chapter of how I was introduced to porn.