Taming of the Dude: One man's Journey with Jesus

Chapter 12 Culture Shock- University

Chapter 12 Culture shock- University

James 1: 5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

I don't believe I was stupid, but I also did not think school was my thing either. You might remember my dinner with my friend and his Professor parents. University was like having dinner for 10 hours a day. I had some habits that did not fit in and others that did. I had a problem with using expletives when I was frustrated and was struggling for the words to explain my frustration. For example, man I had a really hard time in the school's library. Every time I went there, I could never find the articles or books I needed. I often would just pick three or four articles that shared the same idea and wrote my paper on that. I really think that is not what I was supposed to do and I thought it would be reflected in my grades. The old Kev would say, "I hate the expletive library. It never has what I expletive want. I am never going back to that expletives place." This kind of dialogue did not impress or influence the people around me. It also was not acceptable language for the church I attended. I mean at this point we could not even help out at the church because I wanted to visit my mom once an expletive month.

It definitely had to go. My language had to be cleaned up. It was hard at first, but one of my friends or a prof or maybe a church mate said that swearing is a quick and easy fix for someone who was ignorant. It was a hard reality but it was true. The more I hear our students talk or see a movie that has a lot of swearing, it is usually because the person does not want to explain their frustration. Just think about it, you hit your finger with the hammer or stub your toe. Do you want to say, "oh dear, that is bad. I was not taking my time or concentration and I have gone and hit my finger. It really hurts. It hurts really bad. I hope it will stop hurting soon. The pain is throbbing. I am a little overwhelmed by the pain. I think I might pass out. Oh my, is there anyone out there who can help me." Instead, we tend to just stub our toe or smash our finger and say." expletive, expletive, expletive, help me, expletive and expletive. It was hard at first, but eventually, I cleaned up my language and now I mostly just swear in my head, and ask for forgiveness, and try to think of a better way I could say what is frustrating me.

Besides trying to learn how to be more articulate, I also needed to improve my scholastic abilities . It was a very rough first year of University because of culture shock and the first year is full of introductory courses that require a lot of reading. I mean a lot of reading. The kicker was you also had to know what you were reading. It just was not check a box to say you read the book. You were going to be tested on the material you were suppose to read. I am not whining, but it was hard for me. I also was working with an autistic boy part-time and that was exhausting too. He was a great kid, but he had a lot of needs ....and he also was non verbal. I spent two hours each day guessing what was causing him to have a tantrum. I was performing every kind of possible service in hopes that one of them was the reason for the tantrum. The only need I ever figured out was his need to go to the washroom. Unfortunately for me, it was easy, because when he needed to go, he dropped his pants and started peeing. He did this on the sidewalk while we were walking. He would sometimes go at the public pool, which I can understand. I have the same problem when I am in the water. It always makes me want to go, but I don't, because that is wrong. Just in case there is anyone reading this and they pee in public pools..., It is wrong. I do not care what the ratio of pee is to the amount of water that is in the pool. It is still a closed system and I do not want to swim in anything but chlorinated water.

If I had to use one adjective to describe my first year at University it would be insecurity. I was insecure about my girlfriend. I was always worried that she was going to realize that she could do better and leave me. I think I proposed to her at least three times in the first three months we were dating. As you might of figured, she said no the first two times. A lot of praying and tears went into that insecurity. To be honest, we have been married for 32 years, and I still think she is going to realize that she can do better and leave. ...a never-ending battle in my mind.. I was insecure about my part-time job. I thought I was not equipped to work with people who had been diagnosed with autism. If you had a child that would beat on you, drop his pants at any given time and seemed to never listen, it makes you think that maybe it is time to make a career change. University was a huge insecurity for me. I could not keep up. I felt like I was drowning all the time. I had to learn academic language plus all the information from the textbooks. In my first semester I got an "F" in one of my classes. It was devastating to me. I thought my future was dependent on me being at the University. My wife was studying alongside me if I was expelled from the school because of 2 "F"s, she would for sure find someone better than me. I also was worried that if I failed, my mom would be disappointed in me and be mad at me. I do not know why I wanted her approval so badly,but I did. I remembered calling her crying and telling her that I failed a course and if I failed another course I would be expelled. I asked her if she would be really disappointed if I was kicked out of school. She was surprised that I would think that. She told me that she would always be proud of me whether I passed or failed. I was her baby and could never disappoint her. I cannot say why but after my mother's reassurance a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I went on to write all of my finals praying that God would bring back everything I learned and knowing that my mom will still love me even if I failed. I am happy to report that I never received another "F" I did get some "D" but as a rule, most of my classes were in the "C" range. I even managed a couple of "A"s in my final year at University. My wife and I both graduated with the same degree and it stands today as one of my Ebenezer Stones of God's Faithfulness to me and my family. I have a picture of my wife, myself and our daughter with our diplomas, the best picture ever.