Temptation and Reason

Chapter 13

Pete stayed on the couch with Brendon for a while. Brendon was silently staring off into space. Pete watched him nervously. The man was clearly heartbroken and there was nothing he could do about it. This was his fault.

"Brendon," Pete nudged his arm. "Bren, maybe we should go do something. How about we go get something to eat? Comfort food." Pete waited for a response. "I think I might have something that can help." There was still no response.

Pete sighed and stood up. He made his way to the kitchen and went to the fridge. He pulled the door open and looked for some beer. He groaned in frustration, forgetting that Ryan had gotten rid of all his alcohol.

He opened the freezer and pulled out a pint of ice cream. If beer wasn't available, ice cream was second best. Right? He grabbed a spoon and headed back to the living room.

"Alright so I don't have any alcohol, so we can't drink our feelings away," Pete yelled out for Brendon as he walked. "But I was thinking maybe this could help too." He looked over at the couch and stopped at his tracks. He put the ice cream down on a side table and frantically turned his head every which way in the living room.

"Brendon?" Pete rushed down the hall to his room. "Brendon!" His heart pounded in his chest as he searched each empty room. After repeatedly searching his house, he went back to the couch. He sat down and held his head in his hands.

They were both gone now. Pete ran a hand through his hair and groaned in frustration. He wasn't sure why. It's not like he really talked to Brendon or Ryan much after Patrick, but knowing they were there helped distract him. His mind began racing and there was no one there to stop them.

He scanned the room, hoping to see them just standing there. He sighed and got up. He walked to the front door and left, not being able to take being trapped in there with his thoughts.

The sounds of outside helped minimize the noise in his mind. He kept his head low as he walked down the street. One person kept sneaking into his thoughts. He worked on convincing himself that he didn't miss the boy. It was a lot easier to avoid him when Ryan was complaining that he shouldn't be going out too much.

Pete felt guilty at the thought of Ryan. The angel tried so hard to help him and all he did was treat him horribly. Both of them were trying to help, but he was too stubborn to listen.

His pace slowed and came to a stop in front of a brick building. He peered in the window before pushing the door open. The familiar scent of pizza and music from the game machines hit him.

He scanned the room until they landed on a familiar figure. As the man met Pete's eyes, his own widened in shock. Pete hesitantly walked to the man. The man was looking at everyone else in the room before coming back to Pete. They stood in front of each other, neither wanting to speak first.

"You shouldn't be here. You need to leave."

"No, please. I need your help. I don't have anyone else," Pete pleaded. "Please, Gee. I need him back."

"What took you so long then?"

"I've been trying to move on, but I can't."

"He's really upset. You hurt him pretty bad."

"I didn't cheat on him. I know that's probably hard to believe, but I wouldn't do that to him."

"I saw how much you cared about him. That wasn't hard to see, but with Mikey.."

"Mikey and I had a different relationship. Sure he cared about me, but whether he'd like to admit it or not, we both knew it wasn't going to last." Gerard's silence confirmed that Mikey wasn't as heartbroken as he acted that night.

"Listen, I shouldn't have cheated on your brother, but you have to believe me when I say I wouldn't put Patrick through that. I would treat him the way he deserves to be treated. I need him in my life." Pete brought his hands together, begging Gerard for his help. Gerard sighed when he saw Pete's big, desperate eyes.

"Alright, alright. I'll help you. Please, stop making that face." A smile replaced Pete's pouting lip as hope filled his body. "But if you ever hurt him again, I'll kick your ass," Gerard threatened.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Pete said reassuringly.

"Alright, so tell me what it is about Patrick that's making you practically fall to your knees begging?" Pete looked down at his feet and bit his lip.

"I couldn't tell you just one thing. It's everything about Patrick really. It's the way he gets all shy whenever I compliment him. Or this little dance he does after he wins a game. And how he can say anything, good or bad, and still make it sound okay. He's so perfect and I can't help not..," Pete trailed off as his emotions for his ex jumbled with what his mind forbade him to ever feel about another person.

"Love him," Gerard finished with a smile. The one word snapped Pete out of his head. 

"What?"

"Love him," Gerard repeated. Pete let out a chuckle as he brought a hand to the back of his head and scratched nervously.

"Oh no. I don't love Patrick," Pete said out of instinct. The words felt sour in his mouth. They tasted wrong; a bitter lie. Gerard tilted his head and smirked.

"So you don't love Patrick?" Gerard's voice had a hint of teasing.

"I've never loved anyone before," Pete said while shaking his head.

"Well there's always a first for everything." 

"I know, but I can't, I'm not, I don't... do that."

"Do what? Love?" Pete nodded sheepishly. "So why do you want get back together with him?"

"Cause I miss him. He always makes things better."

"But you said you wanted to give him what he deserves. Don't you think he deserves to be with someone who would love him?" Gerard smiled, slowly pushing Pete to admit his true feelings.

Pete felt annoyed as he fought to keep his emotions in order. Gerard reminded him of Ryan. They both knew how to push Pete just enough. Pete's mind was buzzing with the thought of what it felt like to love Patrick. He felt a familiar fuzzy feeling in his stomach. He'd only really gotten that when with Patrick.

"I think.. I think I can give him that," Pete whispered. The idea of Patrick returning his love caused a smile on his face and a warm feeling in his chest.

"I think you can," Gerard placed a supportive hand on Pete's shoulder. Pete looked up and met Gerard's caring eyes.

"I l-love Patrick," Pete let out with a light laugh.

"Glad you can finally admit that." Pete looked down as his face warmed up. His smile faded as his mind went to Ryan and Brendon. They pushed Pete so hard to try getting him to this point. If he would've realized this sooner, maybe they'd still be here.

"You alright?" Pete saw concern written on Gerard's face. He gave a nod and took a deep breath.

"Yeah. I've just made so many mistakes and hurt a lot of people in the process. I wish I could fix everything."

"Well, I don't know about your other problems, but I will help you with your Patrick situation." Pete gave a weak smile.

"Thanks Gee."