Temptation and Reason

Chapter 10

Pete spent the majority of the day in his room. He'd move around the room and lay in different positions as he let his mind take over. Every once in a while, there was a knock at the door that he always ignored. 

When he finally decided to leave his room, it was only because he couldn't handle his sober state any longer. As he passed the living room, he saw Brendon and Ryan laying together on the couch. Their eyes were shut and their arms were wrapped tightly around each other. Pete scoffed and made his way to the kitchen.

He pulled the door open to the fridge and grunted in disapproval. He pushed things around as he searched for at least one can of beer. He started rummaging through the cabinets for any drinks to help cloud up his mind. 

"You're not gonna find any." Pete sighed and turned to see Brendon leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. A small gasp of surprised escaped Pete's lips when noticed the dry tears evident on Brendon's cheeks. Pete had never seen Brendon display any negative emotion other than anger or arrogance toward him. Seeing proof that the devil was crying came with a bit of surprise. 

"Why," Pete finally asked after getting over his initial shock. 

"Ryan dumped the rest down the sink after your guy's talk," Brendon replied with a shrug. Pete stared blankly at Brendon. He wasn't sure why he wasn't angry. He wanted to get wasted again, so with the option gone, he should be ready to throw a tantrum. 

"Why?" Pete remained calm.

"You need to see Patrick and you can't do it while you're intoxicated." Pete shook his head in disbelief.

"You too?" When Brendon dropped his head, Pete scoffed. "I thought you'd be happy that I've gone back to late night hookups." 

"You don't understand," Brendon sighed. 

"What don't I understand? You guys are taking this Patrick thing way out of proportion."

"You just don't realize how important this boy is." Pete rolled his eyes.

"Well it's over, so get over it. I am never going to get him back and I don't want to." Brendon shut his eyes and took a deep breath. When he looked back up, Pete saw tears shining in his eyes. Brendon was blinking more frequently to get rid of the tears, but all he succeeded in doing was preventing the tears from falling. 

"Pete.."

"No Brendon," Pete cut him off. "This isn't going to be some fairytale where I just show up and Patrick comes running into my arms. This isn't like you and Ryan going against your nature to be together."

"It's more complicated than that."

"Whatever. The point is whatever Patrick and I had is over. Plain and simple." 

"It's cause you're not even trying to win him back."

"Sometimes things just aren't meant to be, no matter how hard you try."

"I know that. I've watched it happen countless times to countless amounts of people, but I've also seen it pay off for countless more." Pete turned away from Brendon. "If you give up, then you're guaranteed to fail. What's the worse that can happen if you try? You'll just be how you are now, alone and fighting a hangover." 

Pete ran a hand through his hair and started heading back to his room. He could hear Brendon's footsteps following behind him. 

"So you're just going to let him go that easily?" Pete groaned in frustration and turned to face Brendon.

"I'm not meant to have a happy ending, Brendon. It doesn't matter how much I loved holding him or how much I loved hearing about his day or how much I loved watching him get excited about a movie. It doesn't matter that I'd give anything just to have one night or one more moment to be with him and tell him how I feel. None of that matters now." 

They both stayed silent and just stared at each other. Pete wanted to know why Brendon looked as broken as he was feeling inside. Brendon had his man waiting for him in the other room. Pete would go back to his room and lay down in his empty bed. He hated that he was jealous of what Brendon had.

"It's possible... to have that. You just need to keep trying." Brendon finally spoke up. Pete shook his head in response. 

"I don't get that option. I'm just the type who is destined for this kind of life."

"That's not true. You just need to.."

"Brendon..." They both were in silence again. Brendon was looking up at Pete with hopeful eyes, silently begging him to keep fighting. "Please drop it..."

Pete turned to his room and closed the door behind him without another word. He crawled into bed, burying himself in the covers. He laid there as the day went by. He debated leaving the room, eventually doing so to find something to eat. When he emerged from his room, Brendon came up to him. 

"Pete, just give it a shot. One shot," Brendon pleaded.

"You know, I'm surprised you're the one here and not Ryan." Brendon's body tensed for a second, earning him a suspicious look from Pete. "Where is Ryan?"

"Laying down." Pete made his way to the couch to see Ryan laying down with his eyes closed. He noticed how slow and heavy the boy's breathing was. His wings weren't as white as Pete remembered them. They were taking on a more greyish tint. 

Pete stepped closer to the couch, but was pulled back by a hand on his shoulder. Brendon moved in front of Pete, blocking his view of Ryan. His hands were clenched and his eyes were red with anger.

"Is he okay?" Pete tried stepping around Brendon, but the man shoved him back.

"He's fine," Brendon answered shortly. 

"What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing. He's going to be fine." Any attempt Pete made to get near Ryan only made Brendon more angry and aggressive. 

"Seriously Brendon, something's obviously wrong." Pete was getting irritated by all the shoving Brendon was doing to him. 

"That's none of your concern. Just worry about yourself. That's what you're best at. Don't try and act like you care now." The two were glaring at each other with tense anger. A weak voice coming from the couch snapped Brendon out of his rage. 

"Brendon..." He quickly made his way over to the couch, kneeling beside the boy. He brought a hand up to Ryan's pale face, gently stroking his cheek. 

"What is it baby?" Pete took a hesitant step forward and watched the two. Ryan looked beyond fragile. With the hand so gently on Ryan, Pete believed Brendon thought he'd break the boy if he used even the slightly bit pressure. 

"Be good," Ryan let out a feeble chuckle. Brendon returned the chuckle with a sad smile. 

"Anything for you, mon amour." Pete didn't see any trace of the anger Brendon was holding against him before. The interaction between the couple showed nothing but love and tenderness. No more words were verbally spoke after that. Pete could see a conversation passing between the two through small gestures. 

Leaving them to their moment, Pete retreated back to his room. He noticed moonlight shining through his window as he climbed back into bed. After hours of tossing and turning, Pete drifted in and out of a restless sleep. He continued moving, continued thinking, continued aching before his body finally shut down completely.