Temptation and Reason

Chapter 9

(Two week time skip)

Pete was sitting up in the bed, staring at the wall in front of him. He had a beer clenched in his hand. Blurry memories from the night before slowly cleared in his mind. He went to the bar for the fourth time that week and got wasted. When he saw him across the room, his body naturally gravitated to him.

As he brought the bottle to his lips, he felt the sheets shifting beside him. Looking over, he saw strawberry blonde hair peeking from under the covers. His heart was beating quickly in his chest. He was sure his mind was messing with him. It was the alcohol making him hallucinate. 

The man poked his head out of the covers and smiled lazily up at Pete. Pete felt a wave of disappointment as he looked at the man's thin face, his brown eyes, and scar cutting through his eyebrow. Pete turned his attention back to the wall at the other end of the room. 

"I had a lot of fun last night," Pete kept quiet until the man tried to pull himself onto him. It felt wrong trying to be intimate with a stranger. Pete pushed him away and climbed out of bed. He pulled on a pair of pants and turned to the man laying across the bed.

"Come on baby. Lay back down." Pete shut his eyes tightly. 

"Get out," he whispered softly. 

"What?" Pete could hear a cocky chuckle coming from the man. 

"Get the fuck out of my house," Pete shouted clearly. He stared daggers into the man who was scrambling out of bed to pull his clothes on. As he pulled on his shirt, he turned to Pete with a smirk on his face. 

"Are you serious about this?" 

"OUT!" The man grabbed his shoes and hurried out the room. Pete saw Ryan sitting on top of his dresser, staring out the door. With a sigh the angel turned to Pete. 

"Another one?" Pete rolled his eyes and laid back in the bed. "Pete, you need to stop doing this." Pete groaned and sat up, taking another drink of his beer. 

"Why do you care?" 

"One of us has to." 

"You didn't seem to care this much when we first met," Pete scoffed. 

"Well, you weren't drinking yourself to death when we first met." Pete shook his head and chugged down the rest of his drink. He tossed the can onto the floor, adding to the collection of other bottles and cans. 

"Don't worry about me."

"How can I not? Pete, you've barely gone to work the past two weeks. You spend so much time drinking now, this is probably the most sober I've seen you. You bring strangers home who have even the smallest resemblance to Patrick." Pete sat up and clenched his teeth. 

"Don't fucking talk about him." Pete felt the small buzz he still had from last night start to fade away. He wished he had another beer in his hand. His head started to pound, not only from his hangover, but from memories of Patrick flashing in his mind. 

"Why not? Hurts too much to bring up your ex?" Pete looked down, trying to rid his mind of the boy he grew too close to.

"Pete, face it, you need Patrick back."

"I don't need anyone!" Pete stood up to release some of the energy building up in his body. "I don't need Brendon to help me get laid. I don't need Patrick to make myself feel better and I sure as hell don't need you telling me what to do." 

"Pete, it's been weeks. Look at yourself. You're a mess." Pete glared at Ryan. "If you don't do something, you're going to regret it."

"I don't need him." Ryan sighed and hopped off the dresser. He stopped when he was standing at the doorway. His voice was quiet as he spoke, just loud enough for Pete to hear. "You need to call him." 

Once he was out, Pete went over and slammed the door shut. He was fuming while he stared at the closed door. Ryan didn't know what he was talking about. Pete was perfectly happy with his life. Alcohol, sex and more alcohol. What more could he need?

He collapsed against the door and slide down to the floor. His breathing was beginning to return to normal, but his heart was still racing with the thoughts of Patrick running through his mind. He swore he could still feel the boy cuddled into his arms, hear the sound of his sweet voice, taste his lips pressed against his own. 

The pain that was dulled from nights of countless drinks slowly crept over Pete's body. He was craving another drink. He just wanted to be numb enough to make it from one person to the next without thinking about... 

He heard hushed voices coming from the other side of the door. He repositioned himself and pressed his ear against the wood. Brendon and Ryan were on the other side. As quiet as they were trying to be, Brendon wasn't known for being soft spoken. 

"Well? How did it go?" There was a long pause and for a second, Pete thought they moved away from the door. 

"I don't... I don't think there's anything we can do anymore." Pete had to strain to hear Ryan's voice. A part of him regretting it when he heard how hoarse Ryan's voice sounded. He was obviously upset. 

"So, what are we gonna do now?" Brendon's voice was filled with hope for any kind of good news. Pete shut his eyes to focus more on being able to hear the two. 

"Bren..." Pete heard Ryan choking back a cry. "We can't..."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Brendon interrupted. "There has to be something we haven't tried. We just need to think harder." Pete was tempted to open the door to hear better, but figured they'd stop talking if they saw him eavesdropping. 

"Bren.."

"No! There has to be something. Anything. Please... we can't give up." Pete could hear the desperation in Brendon's voice. He was pleading and Pete wouldn't doubt if the man was on his knees begging to Ryan. 

"We're out of time..." Ryan let out with a small whimper. 

"No..." Pete could hear the pain consuming their voices. They were clearly suffering from desperation and disappointment. It sounded as if their whole world was just taken away from them, along with any ounce of happiness they every possessed. 

There was no more talking after that. The only noises coming from either side of the door were mixtures of sobs, stifled screams, and the small cracking of hearts breaking into pieces.

The couple were clinging onto each other tightly with no plans of letting go any time soon. Pete was curled into a ball on the floor as the misery and desolation he felt after losing Patrick returned with his sobriety.