at the moment, i do not know how to tell or feel. im sad. im exhausted. i do not know why. i dont know anymore. im confused, lost, i guess empty at times too. i worry though, i worry and sometimes feel but then one day i dont feel shit, i fucking hate that too. it makes me heartless. i do not care as if that time, it can last days almost..? why? who am i?
its peculiar, very much so. i dont get how i can ignore feelings and or just no longer feel them. there is times i dont even care and wish to so deeply risk a lot, even if it means ruining my life, i think daily of the things i could do but i just hit myself mentally with the word no. who the hell am i?
i'm a monster, i feel crazy, why am i crazy, who makes me crazy? i do not know. i am lost, i am in a forest of the cold frozen lake. i am sad. i am depressed. i am an annoyance.. i feel lost of everything.
i was told to fuck off almost because i asked a question. am i that bad? am i terrible? horrible? worthless? useless.. unneeded.. stupid... lost, why.. why me? why am i that bad? i'm crazy? i hate this. who am i? what AM i?
god what the fuck. i'm a mess... i wonder and ponder. why? why me? and only me?
YOU ARE READING
envelop, a written letter
Altelemy world for me to speak, a thinking diary. anonymous. i am human. a written letter for me to speak and for others to think with me.
