My Mind

Chapter Three: The Dream That Seemed too Real

Its Daniel and I cannot believe hes at my doorstep. What Im reading in his eyes are full of sadness and regret. He looks at Ari and I look at her. She has this serious look and body tenses, but then looks in his eyes and she loosened up. I look back at him he walks towards her and she starts walking towards him. He kisses her and she, surprisingly, kisses back. She drops the bat and puts her arms around his neck. I just stand there in disbelief and my eyes fill up with tears. I run in the house and lock the door behind me. I slide down the door, bawling my eyes out. Unable to breathe.

Wondering why? Was she really my friend? Was she even a friend I could trust? I just sit there for a while, questioning and overthinking everything.

The door begins to pound, and I hear yelling. I simply run upstairs, get ready for bed, shut off my lights, and just lay in bed. I begin to think about what just happened. I hear my phone ring and I put it on silent and put it on the charger.

I wake up gasping for air and sweating. That was weird. It looked so real. I dont understand what that was and how did I even fall asleep? I think to myself. I look over and I see that there is about 30 minutes left until my alarm goes off. I get up out of bed and take a shower.

As Im in there, Im really thinking about life. Thinking about my mom and how much I miss her. How things would be different if she was still here. I then start to think about my Dad. How he needs help but wont admit to it. Maybe I should contact one of his brothers. I dont know. I cant imagine what he would do if I did contact his brothers. I dont really know them, so it would be extremely awkward.

I get out of the shower and got dressed. I look at my phone and see that it is 6:15 a.m. I have about 40 minutes until I need to leave. I do my make-up and blow dry my hair. I straighten it and it is 6:55. I grab my things and head downstairs. When I get to the last step, all I smell is alcohol. I walk towards the living room and see my dad slumped on the couch with beer bottles all around him. Even a bottle of vodka still in his hand. I shake my head in disbelief. I put my things down and grab all the beer bottles to throw in the trash. I leave the vodka in his hands knowing what happened the last time I did that. Defiantly dont want that to happen again.

I pick up my things but hear him say something under his breath. I ignore it and leave him there. I get in my car and after a few minutes of just starring at the garage door I start bawling my eyes out. I have no idea what Im going to do with my mom being gone and my dad practically being an absolute lunatic. I wipe my eyes, but just noticed I did my makeup and I look in the mirror and see that I havent ruined it. I see the front door opening. I look to see my Dad pulling out a cigarette and he looks at me as he is lighting one up. We both lock eyes and I frantically put my seat belt on, turn the key in the ignition and put in reverse to get away from him as fast as I can.

I get in my spot and grab all my books and phone. I look to see what time it is and I see that it is 7:10. Well, looks like I only have 5 minutes left to rush to my 1st period class, which shouldnt be hard knowing that the Chorus class is right where the student parking is. I speed walk to Chorus and noticed there are a lot of students coming out of the class. I walk inside and there is a lot of people. Great, a humongous class. Well this is going to be interesting. I sit down on one of the chairs on the risers. Wait a few minutes and a girl grabs the microphone and speaks.

Hi class. My name is Ms. Denkerk. I will be your teacher and The last bell rings and she continues, what we will be doing this year is singing. Not just singing in here but singing on stage. What I mean is, we have Christmas concerts and spring concerts. She is, once again, cut off by the principle with the normal announcements and national anthem. She then goes on about a girl and her story. Later, find out that it was her. The girl was Ms. Denkerk. I check my phone and we have 5 minutes left. All right class, now that I have shared my story. Next class you will be sharing your story. Not everyone will be comfortable speaking and I am not forcing you to. But, if you would like to share the class your story and who you are, you are free to. The bell rings. I left that class wondering if I should tell my story. I am afraid of standing in front of a big crowd to speak. But if itll help someone out. I will share my story.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I turn around. Its Ari and my anxiety starts up. My memory goes straight to my dream. She grabs my arm and I so desperately want to run away from her. We stop and she just looks at me. Trying to read me. I know Im giving her the look of hurt and desperation. Desperate to let me go and leave me be. Instead of letting me go, which she normally does, she says, Im here for you. If your dad did something to you, I know that you may be in full shame about it, but I know that you will tell me. I will give you some space and some time to yourself. She lets go of my arm and I turn around and walk. I have no idea where my legs are taking me, but when I look at my schedule to figure out where Im going, I realize that Im going the complete opposite direction. I sigh, and grunt, in frustration. Having to walk in the same direction that I just came from.

I walk into my next class, which is History and I noticed one thing that already makes me want to turn around and run as far, and as fast, as my little legs could carry me. Knowing me, a little good too shoes, refuse to miss my first day of History. Me and Ari lock eyes, she perks in delight, but I just ignore her and walk all the way to the second desk from being all the way in the back. Not wanting anything to do with her. The bell rings and I suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder I look behind me and see the one and only Brandon. He gives me a smirk. I just ignore him grab my journal and start writing.

The class is about halfway done and Im still writing. I feel a tap on my shoulder from Brandon. Yes, Brandon. I say as I turn around. What are you writing? Nothing that concerns you. I turn right back around and continue writing.

Fifteen minutes later, I feel a breath on my shoulder. I quickly shut my book and the breath is suddenly gone. I put my journal away and grab my book out to read. The bell rings within minutes. As Im walking out Ari tries to catch my attention, but I just ignore her.

I go to Calculus and there is nobody in the class that I know. Thank God. Lunch bell rang and Im dreading it. I try to stay in the class, but Mr. Gauntt wouldnt let me due to the rules between students and teachers. Which is understandable. I slowly walk into the Cafeteria and immediately spot. Its Ari. She gives me a look of sympathy and worriedness. I, again, ignore her and she sighs.

School flies by like there is no tomorrow. Which I am thankful for. I go up to my room and do my homework. I hear my phone ding and I grab it. I see a text from Ari telling me to come down. I open the door and I am engulfed with a hug. She squeezes me enough to the point that I cant breathe. Youre... choking... me... I cant... breathe... She lets me go and we immediately lock eyes. I sigh and tell her, You may come in. She sighs a sigh of relief. We go up to my room, sit on my bed and we lock eyes. Again. I think about the dream and for some reason, Im suddenly crying. She engulfs me in a comforting hug and tells me that everything is going to be ok. After a few minutes, I calm myself down and I begin to explain to her about the dream and my feelings about it and the reason why I was acting the way that I was. She looks at me and bursts out laughing. I start laughing and were both now laughing on the floor.

We wipe our tears of laughter and we just look at each other and start laughing again. We calm ourselves down and we just start talking about anything and everything. It soon gets dark and its time for Ari to go home. She leaves and I wave goodbye. I shut and lock the door. My phone dings and I look to see whom messaged me. Its anonymous and by my curiosity, I open it. What I see brings me to tears and I cant help but drop my phone in complete disgust and sadness suddenly fills my entire body. Tears flood my eyes, and there is no escaping it.