My Mind

Chapter Seven: The Letter

Dear, Lisa

When I first laid my eyes on you when we were in Kindergarten, I knew you would be my wife one day, but with being so young, I always tried to ignore and push my feelings to the side. Never believing you would like a guy such as myself. I dont know what switched into my head that I suddenly had the notion that you liked me. Nobody told me that you liked me. I always had a gut feeling that you did. It wasnt until I started dating Ari. I didnt date her because you were her best friend, nor was it because she told me she liked you. It was because I wanted to get to know you from a distance, but at the same time, I was still denying my feelings towards you. I have no idea why, but its like you have rope tied around my waist and youre pulling me in. Or that Im stranded on an island and youre there helping me survive.

I never meant to hurt Lisa the way I did. I was drunk and at a party one night and I got too close to this girl that looked like you. When Ari found out, she started the whole Im a terrible guy and that Im a man whore, etc. What was so weird about it all, is that I didnt feel bad that we broke up. I mean, I felt awful for hurting her like that. But all that crossed my mind was you.

When me and Ari had that argument at the clock tower, I didnt know that she still liked me. I didnt know that she was jealous of you because I liked you more than her. I didnt know anything. So, when I was waiting for you there that morning, she came at me demanding answers about everything. When she found out that I liked you since Kindergarten, she didnt take it very well. When you showed up, I couldnt bear to see you or to talk to her after you listened to that argument. Ari believed all these lies that other people were telling her, what she was telling herself. She didnt want you to get hurt like I did to her because she was so convinced that I would cheat on you. That I would hurt you like I hurt her. Maybe more.

But, Im not that at all. Im everything but that. If you dont believe me, thats ok. I will prove myself that Im the complete opposite than what Ari has told you, if youll let me. There is one thing though, I want to be the man that you have asked for. I want to be a man that protects you, that gives you comfort, that is there for you, that is everything. Im not sure why Im even writing to you, you may not even read this, but Im just honestly hoping that you have. If you dont give me a chance, thats ok. I understand. Thank you for hearing me out if you have read this.

Love, your crush, Daniel

I look up at him, as he is waiting ever so patiently. Reading me. He knows Im done reading it. He doesnt question me. He just sits there staring at me, waiting for me to talk to him about the letter. I look at the letter, and I look up at him. I get the sudden feeling that my mom is here, and I begin to cry. Daniel rushes to my side, comforting me. I just cry my eyes out and I begin to wonder if my mom would like Daniel and that just makes everything worse. Daniel cups my face and just look at me in the eyes. He sees the pain in my eyes and starts to cry himself. I give him a questionable look and he says, I dont like seeing you in pain. When Brandon told me what he did to you, or what he wanted to do to you, I wanted to beat the shit out of him. He doesnt know how to respect or take care of a girl. Let alone his girlfriend. Im sorry he treated you like that. Im sorry for the death of your mom, Im sorry that everything bad is happening to you. You dont deserve it, at all. I know I have said it a lot of these past two days, but I do know that Im speaking the truth. Speaking from the heart and out of pure emotion.

I just sit there, drawn into his eyes and, just at a loss for words. Im not sure why hes been encouraging me, but its nice. This is the type of encouragement that I havent gotten. Ari never gave me this type of encouragement. Its relieving and it honestly feels like the weight that was on my shoulders are finally off. Which is such an unnatural feeling for me. Ive never felt this way, its an invigorating feeling.