The Pain In Love: A Jemi story

Chapter 1

Demi's POV

Have you ever felt that feeling when you feel everything might just fall apart? When everything you've accomplished doesn't even matter anymore? I felt that when I entered into a treatment center, or as most people call it; Rehab. I had every teenage girls dream. I am famous for my singing and acting, I make millions, and I have a close family. What more could I ask for? Well the fact is, that I'm not...well let's say, mentally stable. I am bipolar which I just found out about, it explains a lot though. I have the urge to cut myself even how great of a mood I am in. Well you can't blame me, I was bullied a lot. One time in the sixth grade before I was home-schooled, other girls started a petition in the bathroom that said 'sign here if you hate Demi Lovato'. The thing was, there was over thirty signs. Well anyways, I feel like I either have to not eat at all or throw up after every meal. Oh and I am majorly depressed all the time when nothing wrong is really happening in my life. Well I wouldn't say that either because I have a reason to be depressed about my most recent breakup. I still love him with all my heart, but he doesn't feel the same way. He broke up with me because he didn't want to lose our awesome friendship. I'm not saying that we don't have an awesome friendship, but what I'm saying is that we have an amazing relationship. If we were still together, would I be crying at a treatment center in Iowa? Would I be screaming at someone who only wants to help me? All I can say, is that I honestly don't know. If I was still in his arms would I feel like I don't have to harm or starve myself? He was the only closest thing that actually made me want to be normal and not do those things. Sure, I did it a few times when we were together, but it wasn't something that I do everyday like I did before I entered this stupid treatment center. I can feel my scars healing and it scares me, they were a big part of me that is now gone. I can feel my belly growing and I absolutely hate it, I'm ugly and there's nothing I can do about it. These people here tell me that I am beautiful and that I don't have to starve or harm myself, but inside I don't believe them. All I really want is to be in his arms and hearing that he loves me, but that will never happen again unfortunately. It won't happen because he doesn't love me, he loves our friendship. I wonder if he even cares if I am here, I haven't been able to talk to any of my friends lately because they took away my phone and computer. He could be mourning over me like I am for him, or he couldn't care less. For right now, all I can say is that I love you Joe.