Scars to Your Beautiful (the 100 fanfic)

Chapter 25 - Intermission

Clarke POV

I stared at the flames dully as the others set up their side of the camp. I could understand their reluctance to be near the Grounders, but we couldn't afford to maintain that distance. We had to be able to work together if we were going to get everyone out of the Mountain. It had to work or else what I'd just done, what I'd just forced myself to do, wouldn't make sense.

I rubbed my face to get rid of some of the dark thoughts and when I looked towards the cart that was carrying Finn's body, I had to blink hard to clear my eyesight because I thought that Finn was sitting on the cart and staring at me. The look of accusation on his face made my chest clench in guilt. I hadn't wanted to do it. I wanted to save him, but I'd failed and now I had to live with it. I just hoped that I could. Shaking my head to dispel the thoughts that were beginning to circle, I closed my eyes to his image. I sighed in relief when he disappeared and turned resolutely away. Instead, I focused on the Grounders. I saw that they had already erected a tent for the Commander and a couple of smaller tents. I searched the Grounders accompanying us but couldn't see her which meant that she had probably already retired for what was left of the night.

The Commander was an interesting figure and I couldn't help the thoughts that moved towards her. She was imposing, intimidating and seemingly emotionless, but there had been hints that she wasn't as cold as she seemed. She had shown me hints that there was compassion when we'd spoken. She seemed to understand what I was trying to do, of what I'd been through. It was refreshing after being told to let the "adults" handle it. I wasn't given a chance to figure out anymore when another figure caught my attention coming out of the Commander's Tent. She had on the half mask that covered her face and wore a long white fur cloak, but I was pretty sure that it was the woman they called Pakripa. She was another puzzle that I wanted to figure out. The way she stood silently as she stitched herself yesterday. The coldness that had seeped through her voice as she discussed leaving Finn alive and in the next breath, stating with certainty that war was on the horizon. Tonight, she showed more emotion than I'd seen from any of the Grounders so far. Even as far away as she had been, her rage was nearly palpable when she figured out what I'd done. When she had taken my hand earlier tonight, I had thought that she was going to hurt me, but I had been wrong. The woman had taken it upon herself to give me comfort. Like she'd known the turmoil I'd been going through. The pain.

Then I realized that she did understand when she told me why she'd been about to kill me just moments earlier. Finn had killed two people that she'd cared for greatly. Loved. Then to turn around and argue heatedly with me. I did not miss her shattering the cup and could see it in her eyes that she had momentarily wished it was me. I shuddered as I shoved that thought away. But thanks to her, I now understood why the army had been upset with what I'd done. I may not understand their traditions, but I was beginning to understand how important they were. Lincoln had been right when he'd told us that if there were no repercussions for causing the death of others then their life had no worth. The people who had sacrificed themselves on the Ark to give the others more time knew that. It was about time we started to remember that ourselves.

Both women were an enigma, and it was a little frightening that I wanted to figure them out.

"Yeah, that's not creepy at all," Octavia said as she sat beside me and bringing me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at her and saw that Lincoln and Bellamy had joined me as well, I asked, "What are you talking about?"

"The Grounder with the cloak," she said, jutting her chin in the direction across from us.

I looked to where she was pointing and saw the woman sitting at another fire and was taken aback as she stared. It almost felt like she was staring straight through me. The urge to shudder was nearly overwhelming.