Scars to Your Beautiful (the 100 fanfic)

Chapter 35

Dawn crept up slowly as the fire died down and moisture covered every surface delicately. I stifled a yawn as I blinked and finally noticed that color was beginning to return to the world. I felt stiff from sitting still for hours, listening to the sounds of the world around me and paying particular attention to the breathing of my companions. I stirred the fire and added the last of the wood in hopes that it would last until the searchers found us. When it was burning happily away at the wood, I stood up and stretched more fully. Joints protesting loudly with cracks and pops.

I snorted in amusement to think that I've already injured myself enough times that my body believe that I'm decades older than my less than twenty. I checked on my charges before I decided to move on to the creatures that had turned our world upside down.

They lay exactly where I had left them. The ground around them torn from claws and deeply seated boots, old blood staining several patches where it had pooled. The entire clearing, I noticed, showed signs of battle, including a couple of shell casings from Clarke's handgun. I walked over to where Lexa had been laying and knelt to examine the wolf more closely. I noted that the fur seemed reminiscent of my own hair coloring, dark brown with streaks of black. I ran my hands through it, feeling it stiff and wet but with an underlying softness. A second lair of fur. Strange because we were just nearing winter and the animals around us just now getting their winter coats. I thought that maybe that meant they had come from the far north, somewhere within the frozen lands of Azgeda.

I continued my examination of the wolf, running my hands over it and shifting it as much as I could. It was only when I found Lexa's dagger sticking out of its chest that I paused again. Memories of pain across my chest flashed through my mind, eerily reminding me of being stabbed. I sat back on my haunches as I continued to stare at the dagger handle as my mind swirled furiously to connect the two. A frightening thought entered my mind and before I had a chance to object, I was moving to the head of the wolf and looking beyond the glaze of death to search out the color of its eyes. I dropped suddenly on my ass as I stared wide-eyed in shock. The creature had gray eyes.

I shook my head in disbelief and scrambled quickly to my feet and moved hastily over to the other wolf. I dimly recalled that the fur was the same color as Lexa's hair and I prayed silently that what I found wouldn't confirm the thoughts that were starting to form in my mind. My prayers went unanswered, for there, beyond the cloudy haze lay a pale shade of green staring back at me unseeingly. I choked back a sob of disbelief and checked to see how Clarke had finally slain the wolf. There, in the depths of its sternum lay the handle of a knife placed exactly where the heart would lay.

I blinked several times to be sure and then I got up, almost woodenly, and went back to where the girls still lay sleeping. I looked back at the wolf once more to make sure and then I found myself kneeling and pulling the cloak down to expose the zipper of the stretcher. I reached out with shaky fingers and pulled it down until it had exposed Lexa's tanned skin just slightly. I parted it gently, looking at her face to make sure that she didn't wake. Taking a deep shuddering breath, I closed my eyes and let it out slowly, preparing myself. I opened them and looked down. There, barely discernible lay a thin silver line bisecting her bindings. I leaned down further, narrowing my eyes to examine it more closely. Looking at it more closely, I could just make out what seemed to be a second line, almost vine-like, in pale blue. In all honesty, if you weren't looking for it, you wouldn't find it. Nor would you really notice that the lines looked more like tattoos than scars. I opened the stretcher more fully and examined her torso and found three small silver circles with the blue.

I couldn't think, but when I saw her flesh shiver from the morning cold, I hastily zipped the stretcher and lay the cloak back on her. I looked over at Clarke and the need to examine her body for the wounds that I had inflicted on the Bounstoka was nearly a palpable thing, my fingers twitching in response. But I stopped myself only because it would mean jostling her too much which would cause her undue pain and I didn't want to do that. Maybe, I could figure out a way to discretely look her over once we'd returned to Nyko's.

I groaned at the implications and stood up to begin pacing as agitation began sweeping through me. I wanted answers, but the Bounstoka was remaining frustratingly silent now. I felt a growl build in my chest and let it loose past my lips. It was louder than I had anticipated and I heard the flurry of wings and frightened noises scurrying away. I paused at that but then continued on with my pacing.

Was I a werewolf? Or was I something more? Were we, I corrected myself. During my pass close to Lexa and Clarke, I glanced down at my cloak and now that my eyes were sharper, I saw blonde tufts of fur peeking out of the snow white fur. I shook my head and moved on as I recalled the depth of blue I had stared down in death and how the shade reminded me of Clarke's.

I stopped abruptly and without a second thought started stripping off my armor and clothes. The light wasn't quite bright enough, so I moved closer to the fire before looking down at my own chest. I looked down as I recalled where I had felt the stabbing sensation, narrowing my eyes as I searched my own skin and beyond the scars that lay liberally across my own torso. I had been cut crosswise and diagonally when I'd been tied to the tree both times. The scars were still pink tinged in newness and the paleness of my own skin made finding the marks more difficult, but I did find them. Thin silver lines suffused with green vines. The green stood out more starkly against my skin, but I thought it could easily be passed on as veins too close to the surface. Hopefully.

"Well, fuck," I sighed as I fingered the one along my ribs, knowing inherently that had been the killing strike.

I stared at the fire for a long moment, my mind suddenly blank and void of thought. I didn't come back to myself until a gust of wind blew threw the clearing making me shiver. I shook myself like a dog ridding its fur of water and went back to where I'd drop my clothes. I dressed quickly and sighed in relief as the warmth began to seep back into my skin.

I really wish that I had someone to talk to at the moment, but I had no one. I wanted to voice my thoughts aloud but I held my tongue because to voice them would make it all the more real. I wasn't sure if I was ready to make it even more fantastical than it already was. So, I stayed silent and watched as the sun began to rise in earnest and the sounds of the forest betrayed the waking of the animals that called it home.

I stood as a statue standing guard until the shadows moved to reveal the searchers. I startled before I gathered myself and greeted them. I sent a couple of them to cut down and strip wood to make the poles for the stretchers. I explained to them briefly what I had come upon when I found Lexa and Clarke and they were astonished to see two more giant wolves (as they called them) roaming around their home. They were even more surprised to find out that Clarke had managed to kill one of them. She was fast becoming an exception to the way they viewed Skaikru. She was proving to be resourceful and showing strength beyond what they physically saw. I smiled with pride, seeing their looks change to one of respect when they looked upon Clarke and spoke about her. I knew it she had it in her, the strength and the ability to lead. It looked like the world was finally seeing it for itself.

Soon, everything was set up. The poles cut and slid into the stretchers, the wolves prepped for travel, the fire out, and my supplies gathered up. I swung my cloak around my shoulders and with one last look around the clearing, ordered them back to Tondc. One more strange adventure under my belt and I wondered just how much more interesting and stranger my life would become. Only time would tell.