The Bad boy's Prayer

Chapter 24 And all shall be revealed

To say I was happy that 'shark week' was over , would be an understatement. I was over the moon. I could now go back to my life and forget about all my slip ups from my previous cycle . The silver lining on this though, was that in some miraculous way Shawn reached out to me again. I was shocked at first - since I thought after I had to leave him the last time we met up , that he would never want anything to do with me again -  but I guess God had other plans.

He's still my friend, my best friend even after everything we've gone through recently. And I don't blame him for keeping his distance or being mad at me for what I did to him , if I was in his shoes I would've probably felt the same way. But atleast he was willing to forgive and move on now - or that's atleast what I gatherd from his text last night - after I got home from youth group last night with Logan I saw a couple missed calls and a few messages from Shawn on my phone. At first I thought something was wrong - that it was some type of emergency - yet it only being him wanting to meet up today. I agreed to meet with him - since it's long overdue - and decided that this time I would handle everything I had to do before I left, not to cause yet another reason for him to hate me.

He had told me that we were going to that new waterpark that opened up in town - since he was dying to go anyway and I had no reason to say no - so I agreed it was a great idea. It WAS a great waterpark after all. I had packed my bag last night - so it wouldn't take away any more time from all the other things I had to get done today - so I Started off with the most time consuming task of the day ; Logan's tutoring session. He had gotten a lot better in his studies lately so the tutoring wasn't as much school related as it is Spiritually now. We use what used to be his tutoring session as ' Christian 101 ' if you would. He insisted that since his grades picked up that I used this time to teach him more and to help him grow. And it's actually a lot of fun . Learning about God and the Word can be fun too .

"So , what do you wanna learn today ?" I say chirpy, taking a seat on the couch next to him.

"I don't really wanna learn today but more ... talk some stuff out . Is that cool ?" He asked uncomfortable as I shifted in my seat so I was facing him better. I could clearly see now that something was eating at him and he had to get it off his chest , so I nodded showing him to continue while I watched him take a deep breath. "Do you know WHY I am the way I am ? I mean why I'm so rude and conceited and -"

"I get it. You don't have to continue if you don't want to Logan. " I said , seeing him get emotional while he listed all his ' negative ' traits - as he put it -

"No , I want to . " he said before rubbing his hands on his thighs , clearly nervous to say what he was about to say. " It's ... my dad. He left when I was really little. He left a day before my first birthday. I don't remember much of him or what he even looked like but I remember my mom crying each year when my birthday came around , knowing he would never come back with each year I got older. When I was 7 I had asked my mom why she was always crying when it's my birthday and she would lie saying it's because she's sad that I was growing up so fast. Little did I know what it was really about. I had gotten used to my mom being like this up until I was 14 when I asked her again she told me the REAL reason behind it. She said that my dad didn't want me in the first place and that he wanted to give me up for adoption - since my mother wouldn't abort me - she still refused and said she was going to keep me at all costs. " I watched him start to sniffle at this part , wiping his tears on his sleeve before continuing.

"He didn't like that... he agreed to stay until after I was born and she had hoped that after he saw me that he would want to keep me. But that wasn't the case. He stuck around for the first year knowing my mom couldn't do it alone but the moment I turned 1 , he bounced. Not even a letter or a cheque to say goodbye. I got so angry when she told me this , I wanted nothing but to find him and make him pay , make him feel the pain he's been causing my mother all these years. That's how I ended up with those guys. They told me they could help me find my father and take care of him , if I agreed to take over as their leader. Thinking back now it was really stupid of me to think that I could be a leader. Of the dark side no less. I couldn't even take care of myself so I had no idea what they were thinking putting me in that position. So that's why I have trouble with authority, parents , no respect anymore and well ... straight to the point , I was a jerk. Some people call it 'having daddy issues ' I called it , being abandoned by the only guy I ever knew in my life. I didn't have uncles , cousins or grandparents so you can understand how bitter I felt. I know this is probably a lot for you to take in and process. I'm a mess right ? " he said looking up at me with teary eyes and a defeated look. I had never knew the extent to which his pain lied . How HARD his life really was growing up.

I found myself scooting closer and comforting him . "You know Logan , I know exactly how you feel." I said , seeing him lift his head up like ' are you kidding me ? You have no idea '

" I do , really. "

"How ? Not to seem rude or anything Amaya , but look around you. You have a happy home with a mom and a dad who loves you. A car they bought you with money they EARNED and NOT stole , friends who care about you and a FAMILY . How could you possibly know how I feel ? " he said , sitting up while it was my turn to rub my hands together.

"It seems like that doesn't it ? But it wasn't always like this. " I said while I saw that I had his attention, he was now officially intrigued. " my mom left too. " I said while he opened his mouth to protest while I cut him off , knowing what he was about to say. " she's my step mom. My biological mom practically left me after she gave birth to me. She didn't even name me or look at me. My dad told me that she never wanted kids , so when she got pregnant with me she wanted to do anything to get rid of me. My dad obviously begged her not to so she agreed if she could have a divorce because of it. I was kind of her ticket out of here. Apparently their marriage was on the rocks long before I came into the picture, I just so happened to have been her reason for leaving. I was so mad at her for so long for leaving me like that because how could a mother do that to her child? A child she bore for 9 months ? I didn't quite understand it... but when my dad met Helen it all made sense. My dad wasn't saved at that time and neither was I but Helen was. She taught my dad about God and forgiveness and -

"Sound familiar ?" Logan interrupted while I just gave him a smile and continued .

"Anyway, she lead my dad to God and made him see he was called to be a pastor. They got married when I was 4 so she was basically the only mother I ever knew. She raised me . So that's why I tell people she's my mom, because she is. She's more a mother to me than my biological mother is. She taught me that I don't have to be angry at what my mother did to us , that I should forgive her beacause even though it was hard and it hurt a lot, it happened for a reason. If she had stayed my father would've never met Helen and we would've never gotten saved and my dad would never have had become a pastor and have this testimony to change lives. So, what I'm trying to say here Logan ; is that I know it was hard and that you hated your dad for leaving but everything that happend in your life lead you to this , to now. To have an amazing testimony and get to know God. It might not look like it , but you were CHOSEN Logan . God CHOSE you for a reason and brought two broken winged birds like us together for a reason and for His greater purpose. You might not see it now... but you'll see it eventually. " I said seeing him smile softly.

He didn't need to say a word , I knew exactly what he meant and what he was feeling. We were both hurt by a parental figure, deprived of a ' normal ' childhood but it brought us to God . To see how AMAZING He is and how GREAT His works are. To see that no matter how 'messed up ' we seem , we're loved by someone greater than ourselves and bigger than our earthly parents. We have a Father in Heaven who loves us and created us in His imagine. A Father that loves us so much that He sent his only Son to die for us . If that's not unconditional love , I don't know what is.

"You can always talk to me about anything Logan, and if you don't want to talk to me you can talk to God. " I said with a smile getting up while he sat there taking everything in , thinking it over until I heard his voice softly fill the house as he began praying and asking God to help him forgive his father.

Super duper long chapter for you guys. Are you glad !? I sure am ! I've been waiting to write this chapter for like FOREVER.

What did you think about it ? About Logan and Amaya's Past !? Were you surprised about Helen ? I'm so happy if you stuck around this long *hugs if you did * thank you so much for reading. Like always, remember to leave your thoughts in the comment section below. Until next time, keep howling my wolves 🐺❤