The Bad boy's Prayer

Chapter 28 Here's the deal

I had pondered every possible outcome and scenario this last weekend. What would happen if I gave them an answer. It wasn't as easy as I thought I mean , Shawn has been of my bestest friends since forever and Logan ... well he's starting to turn into a great friend himself. But do I love them ? Sure. In a romantic way ? Of course not. I love Aiden with all my heart and that's going to stay that way for a long time , I hope.  But how do I break this to them without letting our friendships perish?  THAT'S what has been on my mind ever since I left Melody.

I've talked to Savannah about it and of course she would say ' go for Logan , bad boy's are so hot !' To which I had to remind her that he wasn't a bad boy anymore . Then she would recounter that it was just technicalities and it didn't matter. So that conversation went ABSOLUTELY no where . Meaning it didn't help me AT ALL. I've thought about telling Aiden about this but decided against it , not wanting to put our relationship on the line for something that isn't even going to change. I loved him and that's all that mattered.

Love conquers all

That's what my Aunt Tanya always say , she was very wise for someone who didn't have a lot in the love department. But I admired her for it. It took a lot of courage to be alone for so long ...

Talking to my parents wouldn't feel right since Logan was staying under their roof , I was too scared they would get angry at him for 'confessing his love ' and kick him out. I couldn't let that happen. So instead , I decided to talk to Aunt Tanya. She was the closest to neutral ground I had . Plus she could give her opinion - having good knowledge of all 3 parties - to give an unbiased opinion since she's not emotionally invloved with any one of them. She said we should meet at her place so that's exactly where I'm heading. Pulling into her driveway , it was like all my childhood memories spent here  flashed before my eyes. I always had so much fun coming here .

"Maya ! "  She said enthusiastically,  embracing me in a tight bear hug while I hugged her back. " let's go talk this out." She said kindly , leading me to the living room while I nod along. I then started telling her about my conundrum and how I didn't know how to approach the situation in a delicate way.

"The way I see it honey is , you love Aiden right? "

"With all my heart. " I answered honestly.

"And you think of Shawn and Logan as just friends am I right? "

"Like Brothers yeah. "

"Okay. So let me put it this way. If Aiden wasn't in the picture. Let's say ... you never met him and you had to choose between the two of them. Would you? " That question had me stumped. I mean... I've never HAD to think about it in this way but ... it made sense. And I couldn't lie to Aunt Tanya.

"I guess if you put it that way ... Shawn's been my best friend since forever we have so much history. But I think BECAUSE we have so much history,  that I know it wouldn't  work out between us if we ever dated. I mean I love him as a brother and all but ,  we're too similar. It would never have worked. "

"And Logan ?"

"Logan?  That's a hard one. He's like an unsolvable puzzle , a mystery or a breath of fresh air. I know absolutely nothing about him or his life. So in a way I guess that we could have worked romantically but ... he doesn't meet my one requirement in a partner. He doesn't live his life according to Christ yet..."

"So what I'm hearing is ... IF he was living his life according to Christ - like Aiden or Shawn - you would've picked him ?"

"I guess so ..." I said feeling a little weird that I just admitted that. But it was true. I enjoyed figuring people out and Logan was like a human riddle,  you never really know what to expect with him. "But what does this mean then ? Do I still love Aiden ?" I asked concerned -about the realization I just had - looking up at Aunt Tanya.