Help me understand.

Im sorry 3

(A/N Hey guys will try to make this para longer I know it's not brill but I will improve if I receive feed back! please let me know if I should continue I will for now any how's Thx xx)

Frank,

"Oh Frankie..."

I looked down at my feet shamefully. Gerard probably thought I was weak. And I was! I was a useless, good for nothing...

"Frank look at me..."

I had to look in those pleading hazel eyes. As soon as I did I felt a little warmer. A little... I could Barley stop crying!

"Frank please tell me what's wrong?" Gerard asked dropping to my side. I could feel his hand rubbing on my shoulder and I felt almost comforted.

"I...i ... It's It's my mom" I cried.

I had quickly ran home at break to see if my mother had returned. And she had but with a man. A man I hated! Everything about him made me sick! His nasty eyes and his ghastly smile! He was vile!

"What about her?" Gerard's voice was so soothing. I never wanted to leave his side. I wanted to remain in this cubical with Gerard protecting me forever.

"She...she was ... WITH MY DAD!!!!"

My Dad!!! I hated EVERYTHING about him! What he did to me! What he did to my mum! How could she just let him back in our life's! He would repetitively hit us both forcing my mother to work whilst he sat on his ass all day beating me when he was bored!

Gerard gave me a complicated look."Im sorry. Isn't that good?"

"NO! It's not good! It's .... it's ... it's awful!" I screamed at Gerard as tears fell down my cheeks!

"Gerard ... He ... He hurts me..." I said between sobs.

A range of emotions flashed on Gerard's face. Anger filled his eyes then his eyes turned incredibly sad. Soon he looked very very concerned.

"Oh Frankie, you need to tell someone!" Gerard draped his arms around me and I willingly hugged him back sniffing and sobbing.

"Gerard? I .. I can't go home.. Could I ... Could I ..."

"Yes you can stay round mine."

I let a smile appear on my lips. "Thank you Gee."

I never even asked my mother if I could stay over Gerard's. She would probably let me go anyway, to get rid of me. I'm such a disappointment to her that it's unbelievable. I didn't have any clothes but Gee said that I could wear some of his so that wouldn't be a problem. I really wanted to just sit and cry all day!

My father was back. I was going to get beat up at home and at school. He was going to tell me to commit Suicide and he was gonna accuse me of drinking his beer! And my mother was gonna let him sit there and ruin our life's! I guess she really does not care about me.

On the way back to Gerard's I stayed quiet most of the time listening to Gee hum a tune perfectly. He was so beautiful. He was tallish with perfect arms and legs . His died black hair fell perfectly on his pale skin which complemented his eyes. He had an amazing smile that just made you gleam! He was just an angel...

We reached his house and he told me to make myself at home as he went to tell his mother I was staying. I'm surprised she let me but Gerard said she would.

Gerard grabbed my hand and tugged me upstairs to his bedroom.. Wait Gerard held my hand? I blushed slightly as his fingers locked between mine almost perfectly.

" Why are you blushing?" Gerard smirked.

"I .. erm ... well ...." Gerard giggled a cute ass giggle and sat on his bed pulling me along with him.

"I don't want to see you hurt again Frankie"

I sighed . Gerard barley knew me yet he was being so kind. I hated to let him down. I was probably a fool to believe that he of all people would actually care about me. But I wanted to believe that he did so desperately!

"Gerard, in just an emo faggot I'm always gonna be hurting..."

"No Frank No! Never label yourself like that okay?! Never! No matter what people tell you your beautiful! Your unique! You have the guts to be yourself in this world and show people that there is more than one way to live life! Don't expect to be hurt! Don't let people hurt you Frankie! I've been down that road... It's dark and lonely and you feel like nobody cares about you! But they do honestly! You just need to look hard enough! I promise I care Frank I really do! I won't let them hurt you ! "

I was beyond shocked. Gerard cared. Gerard liked me the way I was.

"Thanks Gee. You probably think I'm pathetic."

"No not at all."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

It was about dinner time and I still hadn't received a text from my mother. Instead I was sat at Gerard's kitchen table sat across from his mom and his Brother Mikey.

Mikey seemed pretty cool. He turned out to be about my age and into the same rocky music as me and Gerard..

"Fall out boy or Greenday?"

"Greenday!" Me and Gerard exclaimed together...

Mikey shook his head. "Pete Wentz is really cute!"

At dinner I had learned that both Gerard and Mikey were gay. Well Mikey was bisexual but he preferred guys a little more.

"Ugh...Please don't fan girl over him!"

I looked over at Mikey who blushed when Gerard had said that. He was cute like Gerard when he blushed. But I bet Gerard looked cuter...

"I like his eyeliner" I admitted

"You like eyeliner eh?" Gerard asked with an adorable smirk on his face.

"Erm.. Yeah.. yeah I do" Only then did I realise Gerard was wearing eyeliner. How hadn't I seen it before? It was fucking hot!

"It's really attractive." I could feel the blood rising in my cheeks as Gerard stared at me with his smirk growing on his face.

"I think so to"

"Really?" I asked

"Yeah it's such a big turn on....."

"Ugh you two get a room!" Mikey shouted pulling a face!

"We plan to." Gerard winked.

Later me and Gerard disappeared into Gerard's room. There was beautiful artwork scattered around the room everywhere. There were sketches and paintings of monsters and wild creatures. Every single one was perfectly detailed and shaded.

There was one that stood out to me. It was of a women with long black hair sticking about off her shoulders. She was wearing a elegant black dress with red around the waist and along the bottom. She was almost floating in the air and held a bunch of roses in her hand. The photo looked sad like it had an aura of sadness floating around it.

"That was my grandmother..." Gerard said catching me staring.

"She was beautiful"

"She was."

It was time to get changed and I was worried about Gerard seeing my arms. I just didn't want this evening being ruined by my selfishness...

I walked to the bathroom and changed into the short sleeved black t-shirt Gerard gave me and a pair of batman pyjama pants.

I glared at my arms in the mirror.

"Your body is so ugly Frank."

"Gerard would never love you!"

"Run away Frank! Everyone is better of without you!"

I pushed aside the awful thoughts in my mind and slumped back to Gerard's room.

"Frankie what's ....." Gerard suddenly stopped when he saw my arms. And couldn't help but brake down into tears.

I had disappointed another person. The thoughts in my head earlier were right! Everybody was better off without me!

(A/N Hey I tried to make it longer and I hope you like it!!!! It will get better soon I promise!!)