Help me understand.

Promise me 4

(A/N hey sup guys? I'm sorry I take so long to update but I'm doing my best please comment your opinion and I will work on it thx guys xx)

Gerard,

I felt tears stream down my face and I just couldn't help it! Franks arms were a terrible sight. Cuts were everywhere on his forearm. They were dark and deep. His wrist were even worse....

Why would my Frankie do this? I mean he's not my Frankie...I've only known him for a day but I just felt something for him.

"Oh...Frankie....Why?" I managed barley a whisper.

Frank just stood with a shameful look on his face. He hid his arms behind his back but he could not hide the look on his face. He looked scared and sorry at the same time. He looked as though the world was ending and it was his fault.

"Frank..." Tears were still falling down my face. Frank didn't deserve this! I was suddenly angry. Fuck he didn't deserve this!

I've known him for a day and I can see how beautiful he is!

"Frank talk to me. Your better than this. This isn't good.." I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. Franks face turned from despair to anger.

"I'm not better Gee! I'm a useless fuck! I'm a fucking useless twat! This isn't good Gee? This isn't fucking good? Don't you think I know! And what the fuck do you know Eh?! Why should you care you don't even know me! I'm nothing! You think people look at me and see a kid having a hard time?! No they look at me and see a waste of space! My father told me to kill myself! My mother doesn't care about me! I'm just a... I'm just a.....What do you care Gee!!!!"

"Why do I care? Why wouldn't I care? I don't look at you and see a waste of space Frankie I don't see a boy going through a hard time. You wanna know what I see? I see a beautiful kid with eyes so lost and scared that he doesn't even know what's good for him. I see a face that to me looks so perfect I want to hold it in both hands and study it for hours. I see my Frankie! I care because I was you once! I drank the pain away! I did shit to try and make it stop! But only you can stop it Frankie and you won't stop it by thinking like that!"

"Gee I.. I can't ..."

"Can't what Frankie? Stop hurting yourself? You can't put down the blade and pick up the phone..."

"And call who Gee?!"

"ME!"

Frank stood silent and I realised how stupid I have been. Frank didn't know me when he had been cutting. Who was he ment to call?

"Frank.... you can always call me...."

I opened my arms and Frank walked over and gave me a hug.

"Gee?"

"Yes Frankie?"

"I think I fancy you....."

I let a chuckle leave my mouth.

"I think I fancy you too Frank."

We stood holding each other close for a few moment before I realised I needed a piss.

"Sit down Frank, I'll be back in a second..." I left my bedroom and closed the door.

"You really wanna help him hmm?"

"Mikey, who wouldn't?"

Mikey stood across the hall his arms folded and he looked really pissed of.

"Your gonna hurt him Gerard. Your such a hypocrite..."

"Mind your own Mikes...."

"Gerard! Are you stupid?! That boy looks worse than the corpse bride and your willing to mess with him?!"

"I'm not messing with him Mikey!"

"Oh sure! You just wanna help! Help yourself first Gee! We all know you still drink! We can all see you slipping away!!"

"I'm not slipping away I can help him..."

"Just like how you helped Lyn! Don't run away from it Gee! She's dead! And she's not coming back!"

"SHUTUP MIKEY!!!."

Frank stepped out of the bedroom looking worried...

"Is everything okay.....?"

"It's fine!" I stormed of into the bathroom screaming with rage!

Mikey just had to bring up Lyn! And the drinking.... Maybe I had been drinking again I could feel the pain creeping back in but now I had Frankie and I don't need to feel so alone. Do I?

Mikey was right. It was all my fault Lyn died and I'm just going to hurt Frank more...

I left the bathroom feeling hatred for myself. I stumbled across the hall and into my room. Frank sat in the edge of my bed looking confused.

"Hey Gee are you o.."

"Just fucking great Frank. Let's go to bed. Yea?"

He didn't say another word. I watch him slip into the makeshift bed I made, out of blankets and pillows, on the floor . I watched him breathe in and out slowly and I soon felt guilty for being so rude towards him.

"Frank....Frank?" I whispered but there was no reply he must of fallen asleep. I wanted to help him. I did. He looked so hopeless yet he was still clinging on. He was braver than what he thought.

As I lay in bed I let all the thoughts in my head disappear, all except one. Lyndsey.

We were close friends. If you would class us as friends. At the time the pair of us had shitty life's. I had just came out and was getting bullied in school. I had started drinking and doing drugs and shit. It was what helped me through the day. And Lyn she was abused at home very much like Frank. She also self harmed. One day I was drunk of my head and she came running to me for help. She said her mother threw her out and this guy was after her. I told her to go for him... That he might be a keeper. I laughed in her face and left her out on the streets. Later that evening when I was even worse she came back. Covered in scratches and mud. Whoever that man was he did things to her... She flinched at every sound. She never looked me in the eye and she never touched anybody.

I wanted to help her. So I tried we talked a lot. Well I did most of the talking but at the time I thought she was listening... I was still drinking. Mikey had told me to stop that I was scaring her that by telling her that people are going to hurt I was making her fragile.. She threw herself of a Clift. She didn't think life was worth living anymore and I shouldn't of scared her away.....

If only I hadn't been so stupid in the first place. If I had let her in the house she wouldn't of been hurt! If I had told her the world was full of good as well as evil she may have seen a tomorrow!! If I wasn't such a stupid selfish bastard maybe...

"Gee?"

I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't even notice that Frank was awake.

"Frankie?"

I heard rustling from where Frank was sleeping.

"I ... I had a nightmare.."

"Frank do you wanna sleep up here with me?"

I heard him stand up and come and lay next to me.

"Thankyou Gee...."

I leant over and kissed his forehead without thinking.

"Goodnight Frankie."

"Goodnight Gee...."

(A/N Haay! I know it's not long but I thought that it was a nice place to Finnish for now. Comment if you think I should continue and I hoped you liked it)