Things We Hide || Sanders Sides

~Part 11~

Trigger Warning ~ implications of cheating and lying, heavy crying, mentions of death

Roman opened his mouth to reply. He knew he had. He'd felt the muscles moved, had deliberately made them do so in order to explain that what Logan thought was true wasn't. Wait no, that wasn't right. Or maybe it was. All he was certain of at this point was that it was deffinetly him in the photo but the entire situation was wrong, what Logan thought was happening was wrong, everything has just gone wrong.

Staring at him expectantly, Logan waited. Several seconds of silence was enough for him and he laughed bitterly, using his spare hand to rub frantically at his cheeks. He didn't show emotions. That was his whole thing. Thoughts over emotions, thinking over recklessness. Work over love.

"You are unable to even answer my question."

Eyes darting between Roman and his phone, Logan realised that he was still staring directly towards the picture. Hell, he hadn't even flinched when he'd said something, eyes strained solely on that awful photo. That damn photo. Squeezing, Logan clicked the button on the side of his device and was only satisfied he had completely switched it off when Roman snapped out of whatever trance had held onto him and finally looked up at him. For a second Logan was sent reeling; Roman was crying. No. No it wasn't real. Roman was an actor, a player, a liar, this is what he did in his spare time and Logan would bet a vast amount of money that it would take nothing out of Roman to start tearing up when it was appropriate.

The phone was soon returned to his pocket and Logan stared at his lap, not quite able to make himself look at the streaming tears on Roman's cheeks that all too well matched his own.

He'd been an idiot. He usually thought through things long in advanced, weighed out the pros and cons before finally starting to make any sort of judgement. But with Roman he'd not had the chance. For the first time in all of his existence - or that of which that Logan could remember - he'd followed the reckless and irreparable path that his heart had wanted him to follow. This was what his parents sheltered him from. This was why they taught him to remain alone. This was why they didn't want him to feel emotions.

Else he'd feel this pain over and over and over again.

"It's not what you think."

Managing to force the words out in a hoarse croak, Roman used the sleeve that rested over the back of his hand to dry his face before coughing. He could barely talk but at least if he cleared his throat it became easier.

"Then what is it Roman? How can it be 'not what I think'? Because it certainly appears that way."

"We're not.. we weren't.."

"Get on with it."

Apathy. The only way Logan had previously dealt with things. Without even attempting to, he'd slipped into his regular routine of not caring less and pretending his emotions didn't exist in order to get this over with as quickly as possible. He had to admit that, for a moment, he had regretted his steely, icy and generally hate-filled tone when he watched Roman flinch away. Whatever was necessary.

"It is me but that photo is from a long time ago. A tale as old as time I suppose. We.. we were never together. He was my best friend for so long but we never felt anything beyond that."