Treat Birdie With Kindness

100. Tita (@its_a_long_way_down)

Hi Birdie, I hope you're having the best day ever as you're reading this. I tried filming a video telling you everything I'm about to write but it went awfully wrong and I ended up blabbing about how sad my life was, so I cut it down and decided I should just write down my feelings because that's what I do best.

I can't remember exactly how or when I found you, but I know you were writing Kismet and I was reading Inclination at the time. I've always hated reading, mostly because ever since the first grade I was forced to choose a book from the school's library every month and do some kind composition or presentation about it. It made me despise books. I would never read them, I'd just make things up in the end. But as I started liking One Direction and finding out about fanfictions, I kind of changed my mind about it a little. But still, I would have to be extremely bored to actually read one. But once I started one, I just had to finish it. I even started writing one of my own once (writing was actually something I did really enjoy doing) but it sucked ass, so...

And then I stumbled upon you, started by reading Inclination and although I was a bit weirded out at first (I'm pretty sure I've told you this before, but I was way too young and naive and I was being held captive by what society thinks is right) I was soon hooked on it. I remember I just could not wait to finish that one so I could start reading Kismet, I just wanted more, and I was not let down. Kismet is, and I'm pretty sure it'll always be, my favourite. Somehow, I related to it so much. I remember that whenever I was reading it I would always have tears in my eyes. I was in such a bad place back then. But every time you posted a new chapter, I couldn't wait to get home from work and wrap myself up in my sheets to read it. It was my safe place. You were able to make me forget about all the crap going on in my life for the entirety of however long it took me to read that chapter. Now THAT, is talent.

Even now as I'm reading Aerial, or even when I go back to your previous books, I am so amazed at how fucking talented you are. How do you even whip up all these stories and most importantly, how the fuck do you put it all into words as nicely as you do? And all those cute ass nicknames? Oh dear...

I'm sure you know by now I'm your work's number one fan, but I have to say I'm also a big fan of the person you are. Not only are you one of the smartest people I know, you're also one of the nicest and kindest human beings out here in this fucked up world. Thank you so much for listening to my shit sometimes and for giving me the best advice in the world. I remember this one time when you gave me the best compliment I ever got in my entire life. You said "You are so wise and interesting for a 20 year old. I'm so glad I know you!". I cried, and I just kept crying. It made me feel so happy and appreciated. I was working at this bakery/cafe kinda thing and that same day, a man had came in ordering a beer and ordering a second one a while later. It was summer and I mean, I don't drink, but I'm pretty sure beer is best when cold. So, as it was hot, I grabbed a second beer and a second cup as well because surely the other one was hot by then. And when I got to the table, this asshole goes "oh no, no need for another cup. You're way to pretty to be washing dishes!", I hated that. Worst thing someone's ever said to me. It somehow made me feel disgusted and infuriated. I fucking hated that job.

I'm pretty sure this whole thing happened exactly a year ago, I quit that job at the end of August and I had a few rough months after that. On October the 22nd, I woke up hella early and at seven thirty in the morning I was ringing the bell at this company near where I live. I don't know what I was thinking showing up that early, but I had been told the owner was quite the busy man and it would be hard for me to find him available during the working hours, and would you believe he actually opened the door? It was the best job Interview I had ever had, if you could even call it that. Unfortunately, he wasn't hiring. But I was still so happy with the conversation we had. That day took the worst turn though, because my nan passed away that afternoon. Last year was a fucking roller-coaster. But on January this year, I got a call from the owner of that company and I've been working there ever since. And I am the happiest I have ever been. My paycheck is insane, my boss is incredible, seriously, he's so fucking nice. My colleagues... Not so much but hey, you can't have it all. I've never had a job with so much responsibility and I really believed I'd never be able to manage it, but I am. My life isn't perfect right now by any means, some days I really just wanna say fuck all this and go home, I have absolutely no friends and zero social life. But when I look at where I was a year ago and where I am now... It's all so different. And you've always been there, without trying and most likely without knowing, creating an escape for me. Something I could turn to whenever shit went bad - your books.

I'm sure you know this better than I do, considering I'm way younger, but I hope you know that whatever shit comes your way, everything will be fine in the end. You will be fine. It will feel like the end of the world at the time, but it'll most likely be just a lesson to be learned. And I also hope that writing your books feels as good for you as it does for me to read them. That's why I never want you to feel pressured to write. You owe us nothing, you're putting out the greatest quality content for us literally for free. I really wish you all the success in the world Birdie, you deserve it so much. I really fucking love you.

Take care,

T. x

*Publisher's Note*: Tita also sent in an extremely funny, sweet and caring video message that will be sent to Birdie directly.