Things started to change.
Everyone started leaving me. Everyone whom I love started to leave. Including Ashton.
"Where are you going then?" I asked him over the telephone at a late night. "Are you actually going to leave me?"
"I-I'm really sorry," Ashton said. "There was something going on, I cannot explain. Eleanor, please."
"It's okay if you have to go." I sighed. "Promise."
"Really?" he asked. "I have to move back to Melbourne."
I started to cry.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked again. "I'm really sorry. Elly, don't cry."
"I'm okay." I sniffed.
He will be at the airport tomorrow. I don't think I can say goodbye to him there. I wish I could.
Being with Ashton was fun, though I spend more time with my friends than him. I wish I could've said everything to him.
"I think we should.." Ashton trailed off. Was it breaking up with me? no, maybe, yes.
"Break-up?" I asked.
"Yes." He said. I felt empty. Why now? Why him?
"If it's okay to you." I let out a sigh. "Then we're breaking out."
"I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being the worst boyfriend." He was crying by now. I couldn't help but to convince him it"s okay.
"Ashton, don't feel sorry." I said. "I made things that made you upset."
"but I'm the one to blame, Eleanor."
"I said it was okay. I'm not mad or something. Breaking up with me is okay since it's for your own good and I always want the best for you. You'll find someone that will take care of you. I promise."
I ended the call and cried. I miss him. I miss everything he did, everything we did. God, I just want someone to cuddle me up. Where is Michael?
I got a voicemail from Ashton: "hey babycakes can I pass by your house? don't sleep yet, please. i want to talk for the last time to you."
And so I waited for twenty minutes. I should probably do this. Michael texted me saying: "so ashton's leaving???? you should've told me, el. tomorrow? x" I sighed. How did he knew? maybe Ashton told him.
Ashton arrived and knocked at the door with his bag on the floor. I looked at the window and saw him waiting so I rushed downstairs to see him. I fixed my hair and put on a smile to cheer him up.
"Hi" I said, trying to smile. Even if I can't and all I wanted to is to cry, I still try to. "Be safe on your flight."
"Uh, yeah." He says, while wearing a beanie. "I'll miss you."
"Same," I sighed. "When are you coming back?"
"It'll take time."
-
"So that's how he left you?" Michael asked, puzzled. He couldn't believe what happened. "God, what time is it? You should be sleeping."
We were at his house, after Ashton left. Michael was making coffee for me. I looked at the view outside through the window. It was fall already.
Michael broke the silence, "El, do you have plans in moving? or what if we drop out of school? there's nothing wrong with it i-"
"No." I interrupt. "I must finish school. That's my promise to her, and I can't"
"That's what you want so okay" He sighs. I know he isn't interested in school but it doesn't mean he don't want to learn. "I'll just wait."
We watched netflix, ate some leftovers, and built a blanket fort. I guess this was the 'fun' I expected with Ashton. Why am I not over him? Why do I still think about Ashton?
"Why are you sad?" He asks. We were inside the blanket fort we made. "Why are you sad? look at those eyes. Why do you look sad?"
"What time is it?" I changed the subject.
"4 am"
Then we started kissing. And then making out. But nothing changed. I guess a bit; feelings for Michael.
"But am I just a friend to you?" Michael asked in a tired, and raspy voice.
-
here we go
