TomTord oneshots

you know i dont mind

"You lied to me!"

Tom couldn't help it. He couldn't help his ugly fucking crying face. He couldn't help the snot running down his nose, or the few tears that escaped him. He let out a gross sob.

"You never loved me. You never fucking loved me." Tom wiped the snot away with his sleeve.

Tom's face scrunched up as he tried not to cry more.

"You left me. You left me without a word. You left me and you didn't fucking look back. You left me and you were better than before. Did I just fuck you up that much?"

Tord just stared. Didn't say anything. Just stared.

"You... are a filthy fucking liar." Tom giggled through his tears, desperately trying to wipe them away. "Always fucking talking about loving me. About being a couple. You're a liar."

He took a few gasping breaths.

"I know everyone leaves. Edd fucking hates me now. He didn't fucking care about me, still doesn't. Matt joined Edd because he just follows him around. And I don't even fucking blame them. I don't blame them for leaving. Since when have I been worth it?"

"...Tom—"

"I just didn't except it from you. I thought you were gonna be the only person to stay. That was foolish of me," Tom spat.

His bottom lip quivered.

"It would've been okay if you just used me." Tom stopped moving. "It would've been okay, just to have you stay. You said... you said I was the only person who made you happy. Did you no longer need me for that?"

"Tom—"

"You said you'd talk to me while I still made you happy. Am I that much of a failure? Did I make you so unhappy that you had to leave?"

He paused.

"I didn't expect you to come back. And it sucks, because I know I'll fucking come back to you. I wouldn't choose anyone else. No matter what, I'd choose you, Tord. I know you'll never look at me like I look at you. You'll never think of me like I think of you."

A slow tear slid down his cheek as he let out a shuddering breath.

"I know you're going to leave again." Tom closed his eyes. "That's okay. I don't... want to force you into anything. I never do." He finally opened his eyes once more, looking up at Tord.

He was shaking.

"Love never lasts. I'll learn to live with this. It doesn't matter if you hurt me. I just want you to be happy."

Would it be that big of a deal?

"You know I don't mind, puppy."

Would it be that big of a deal if he killed himself?

"You know I don't mind."

sorry y'all I've been venting a lot lmao—