TomTord oneshots

how to write smut along with some irony

This is going to be a comprehensive guide on how to write gay smut from your friendly neighborhood author Shi!

(also if I get rude in this, I apologize, my go-to humor is "be a big fucking bitch")

I'll have six things in this guide!

1. How anal sex actually works. (God knows this fandom never's fucking googled it before.)

2. Erogenous zones

3. Using references

4. Words to avoid

5. Tropes to avoid

6. The importance of good grammar.

7. Perhaps a more heavy topic, sexualization.

1.
Anatomy! This fandom's worst nightmare, I swear.

Lube! Jesus, guys. The ass doesn't self-lubricate like vaginas do. If you don't use lube, bad shit happens. Anal bleeding, tearing, trips to the ER, and pain. Use lube, kids. If your top is going to wear a condom, make sure you mention that it's a lubricated condom, as even though most condoms are lubricated, it might confuse your reader. If you'd like to have them use lube anyway, make sure it's a water-based lubricant. Again, you really only have to mention that if you're a picky writer (and if you are, respect).

Let's not forget that anal sex will be painful if the bottom doesn't relax!!! You actually have a muscle in yo ass (like a vagina) that has to relax if you want to be comfortable during penetration. And not to mention, if you're in pain during anal sex, STOP. THAT IS NOT NORMAL OR GOOD. I see fics all the time have the trope of "it'll hurt less later!" but no, it won't. If your character is in pain, stop, stop, stop, stop. That is very fucking bad. VERY bad. Not to mention, if you're going to make your character a virgin or not have sex a lot, they need to be fingered before they can have a dick up their ass. If they've had sex a lot recently, then they don't, though I'd be sure to mention that in your fic

Now let's talk about the prostate! If you notice in my fic, Tom just straight up has a kink of being spread open (which differs with different people). However, it's not actually pleasurable for most people. The prostate isn't actually in the anal cavity—it's right below the bladder. That's kinda why the term "hit the prostate" came along—when the top's dickeroo is inside them, and they thrust forward, they actually press againthe prostate, which creates pleasure. And fun fact... the prostate is only 2-4 inches inside the rectum. A guy's prostate isn't going to be a full fucking foot up his ass.

Sorry, that's some salt for a fic I once read. Pretty sure it was so bad i cried.

2.
Erogenous zones! Ever heard of them?

The definition: An erogenous zone is an area of the human body that has heightened sensitivity, which, when stimulated, may create a sexual response such as relaxation, thoughts of sexual fantasies, sexual arousal and orgasm.

Boring, right? It's basically what feels good sexually. ;)

I'm going to list the most sensitive to the least sensitive. Y'all ready?

1. Penis (duh)
2. Mouth/lips (remember when I told y'all to google how sensitive lips were back in OFH? this is why)
3. Scrotum (basically yo man's balls)
4. The nape of the neck! This is why guides always tell you to play with yo man's hair at the back—it's sensitive!
5. Inner thighs! It's literally 0.01 less sensitive than the nape of the neck. But yeah it's sensitive
6. Nipples! Finally. Super hot I guess.
7. Perineum. This basically the area between the anal opening and the testicles.
8. Pubic hairline. Yeah idk man.
9. And finally, the back of the neck. Yeah necks tend to be sensitive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Google them if you want more information! To be honest I think it's super interesting.