Since Always

14

3rd Person POV

On Monday morning, Ming didn't come to the Moon and Star gathering. As Phana thought, Ming was mad at him.

Phana fucked up big time. It was over. Whatever between them two had finally come to an end.

Right. Ming deserved better. He should be with someone better. Someone who could be bubbly and showed their love towards Ming. Someone who was not Phana.

Phana knew Ming would not settle with a guy like himself. But knowing they were over, still hurt Phana like no other. He could feel his heart bleed whenever his mind thought about Ming.
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It had been three days. Three days without Ming. Three fucking days without seeing him or hearing his voice.

He heard from May that the SOTUS was quite busy so Ming would be absent for the whole week. So he would not join the beach trip too, huh? Phana sighed.

Phana wished he could still either see or hear Ming from distance. But seemed like the only one who was hurting is Phana, and Phana only.
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SMACK
"Are you listening???" It was Kit who smacked Phana.

In normal circumtances, Phana would took a revenge on either smacking or kicking Kit. But today he had no energy to fight back. It had been four days since he heard from Ming.

Phana didn't even glare at Kit. Kit nudged Beam who was flirting with two girls. Kit rolled his eyes. The sun still shone so bright, couldn't Beam wait till it's "bar time" to flirt?!

Beam looked at what Kit's chin pointed out. He tilted his head. Came to think of it, Phana was not himself since... since last saturday they watched the movie. The question was.. why?

As long as Beam remembered, Phana was never restless or helpless. He was a man with plans. Everything he did was calculated. Phana always had his stoic face. He even earned the title of Ice King because he was so cold. He had never shown his emotion, he hid them so well.

So, Phana looking miserable and lost was something new. Something must've have happened before they watched the movie.

"Something's bothering him," Beam whispered to Kit.

"Wow, genius! like I didn't know that!" Kit rolled his eyes. He could not hide his sarcasm.

They were at the Med's canteen, it was lunch time. Phana didn't eat his ramen. He only stirred his chopstick in it as he looked afar with empty gaze.

Beam and Kit stared at each other. Phana was surely acting weird. He acted like he lost his soul.

"Pha~ What's wrong?" Beam asked as he placed he tapped Phana's hand.

Phana jolted. He was so lost in his thoughts till he lost track of time. He could only shake his head. He needed to get himself together so his best friends would stop worrying about him.

Phana was back with his silent mode. But now, he didn't even touch his lunch.

Beam and Kit shook their head as they sighed. Phana was certainly keeping something from them.
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It's Friday already. The fifth day Phana cried himself to sleep. Tomorrow was the day he would go on a trip with other Moons and Stars.

He wished he could skip the weekend. He didn't feel like going on a beach trip. He was brokenhearted, he only needed to lock himself in his room to cry out to his heart's content!

All the more, Ming would not come either. So what's there to be excited about. Even if Ming were to come tomorrow, Phana did not know how to act. Should he act like nothing happened? Or should he beg and cry for Ming to come back to him?

Phana decided to skip both the classes and the gathering today. He looked totally wrecked. He could not fool anyone anymore. If he showed up today, everybody would know he was not okay.
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Finally Saturday came. Phana dragged his feet to get ready. He would drive his car to the beach. May and other committees would get there by bus with the new Moons and Stars.

The cottage was 3-hour-drive away. Phana arrived safely at the cottage they rented. The staff gave him keys then without further do, he got into the cottage. It was spacious with several rooms to share. The cottage had a private beach at its back.

He walked to the beach alone. He was wearing white sleeveless tee with blue t-shirt as an outer, shorts, and sunnies on his head. The wind made his unbottoned t-shirt flapped.

Then he heard loud cheers from the cottage next to his. He figured some familiar faces. They were Forth and his gang. And he could not figure out the rest. It seemed like Forth and his gang were surrounded by the freshmen. Phana immediately knew they were having SOTUS.

Then it hit Phana. Could it be Ming was there too? He didn't take too much time to find Ming's figure between the freshmen. Ming was tall.. and attractive enough to make people recognize him.

Gulped. Phana missed him so bad. His wish came true. He could see Ming from distance. He saw Ming throwing some jokes to his friends. If Ming was happy, Phana should be happy too.

He thought if he saw Ming from distance, he would feel good enough to move on. He was never a selfish person. He was selfless all his life. It should have been easy for him to let go.

Phana had determined if Ming decided to walk out of whatever they had between them, Phana too, would let Ming go. With a smile on his face. It should be like that.

But why, instead of a smile, Phana was having tears trickling down his face.

Why?
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To be continued
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Yeah, why, Phana?