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Don't give me flowers when I'm dead

Many years ago, in fact too many for me to remember exactly what happen that day on mother's day my mom said "Don't give me flowers when I'm dead." I was just a teen when she had said that and had no idea what she was talking about. I know it happen after my older brother Bobby had stopped by on mother's day. As usual when Bobby stopped by there was usually a disagreement between him and mom. And that was because Bobby was "six sheets to the wind" as mom put it. Being a teen I really could care less as I had my life to go on with.
But as I got older I always tired to do something nice for mom even if we were broke. I never could forget those words nor did I really have any idea what mom was talking about. And finally after many years I asked mom what she meant by it.
Tearfully she looked at me and sighed,"Noriesse, I meant it like this...If you can not care and love me during each and every day.. If you can not take a moment to do something for me,be it a hug or washing a dish, then don't cry and wail when I'm dead and gone because then it's to late. Flowers no matter what "they" tell you can't fix everything."
Still puzzle by that and I sorta had an idea what she meant I let the conversation go. I mean, I was there every day  while I lived in New Jersey, talked with her every day helped when was needed. When we moved away to South Carolina I still kept in contact weekly and when we did come back for visits I was there helping out.  When mom died I did indeed give her flowers because by then I knew what she meant by her remark by then.
Here it is now what seem to be a century from those time.Living with our extended busy family. Right now due to economics, I am the only one with a stable job and a steady  dependable 40hr paycheck in which to pay all the household bills on. Here it is Mother's day 2010, I have to work this day,and I uttered the same words to my husband Stephen. "Don't give me flowers when I'm dead." He knows what I meant immediately.
I'm sad because I have to leave him and work. I'm very sad because things just are becoming overwhelming for me. The house is messy, I feel I have no life. I wait until I can't stand looking at my home anymore and then I clean up after family that forgets to, or is too tired or just too busy.
Today I do not want to hear from anyone "Happy Mother's Day".  Nor do I want anyone to even remember to treat me special this day. Today, I don't want any momentarily big fuss made,no hugs, no I love yous, nothing.
Because more so than any other time in my life I finally realized what my mom meant by those words uttered tearfully so many years ago.