Welcome to The Mothering Crone

The Magic Eraser

The other day I went to the store to buy some cleaning products to start fall cleaning in my home. Since my home not only houses me and Steve, but our son and his family, this has become a big job. And since our small 2 yr old grandson, Jonny like to write (or scribble is more like it) he has left his mark everywhere.
There is a product that is from the company that makes Mr.Clean. It is Mr.Clean's Magic Eraser. It is supposed to remove stains,crayons,magic marker,inks and other things. I stood in the isle way reading the package of these "sponges" and started wondering "what other things " I could really erase. I decided to buy it and the other things and drove home to start my task at hand.
After scrubbing,vacuuming, and de-dusting. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was once again getting close to that dreaded time...work. So as usual I stopped what I was doing and got ready for work.
Well it was busy as usual but that day there seemed to be more confusion and traffic of nurses around my tiny little work area at the main desk. The noise level with the visitors children seemed to increase as did the level of the various conversations in and around the desk. It was getting to the point that my head was beginning to throb.
I tried to distance myself from the all the commotion by thinking of pleasant things. But my mind kept drifting back to earlier that day at the store. I remembered thinking to myself about the Magic Eraser and I have wondered about it's the "other things".
Now mind you, I was ready to toss a few of the various people milling around over the desk and ready to pack up and go home. But the visions this handy-dandy little eraser inspired saved many a nurse that day. I shall share with y'all my warped sense of revenge.
IN my perfect little work world (since I must work, it's as close to perfect as it can be) I am the great Goddess and in control of my universe. In reality that doesn't float. You must be able to work and play well with others and you can not pick up your marbles and go home. But in my universe I am Ruler. I command the oceans, the air, the fire and earth. Reality... I am lucky to hang onto my little work space and to do my work.
So as the Great One in control I whip out my special handy-dandy magic weapon and proceed to fix my reality. I am busy at my computer putting in doctor's orders. And of course these orders need to go in now and the orders are some exotic labs that no one has ever heard of. Here comes nurse number one and she has a list a mile long for me to do.She starts with her list racing on and in my warped mind, I pick up my super-duper magic weapon, THE MAGIC ERASER , and stop her midstream and wipe out her words!Surprised she looks at me and then turns to go back to her small nurses station.
I continue on the hunt for the exotic labs and then the phones start to ring . It isn't just one phone its three phones with three lines each. The phones are lighting up like a christmas tree each demanding my attention . I pause and have a devious thought...Smiling, I pick up that wonderful new weapon and scrub out the phones. Problem solved...No more annoying phones!
It is hours later getting close to shift change for the nurses and the nursing assistance. These homing pigeons start to zone in to the front desk and break area behind it. I am still hunting for the exotic labs now calling to hospitals in China to see if they can help me find them. I have Google them and Google closed up! The noise level just went up a thousand percent. I can not hear what the other person is saying on the phone. I excuse my self for a moment and put them on hold. Looking once more at the most wonderful cleanser of all I reach for the Magic Eraser and stomp over to the nearest person and eraser their mouth. On and on I go until there is silence at my lowly work area. Just my luck.. the chinese hospital has never heard of these labs but maybe I can try Timbuktu.
Now that shift change is over, the young doctors are making their late evening rounds. They pull charts off the chart rack on the wall and start discussing the patient in room 990567 who is not on this floor. from there their discussion goes to what they plan to do on their off time. Still I am searching for these exotic labs and it nearing the midnight hour. The hallways are quiet, not one person is stirring, or so I think. and then when I just about think I finally ran out of answers for those exotic labs... a patient far down at the end of the unit rings the first call light. That call comes up to the desk as I am tearing my hair out over those exotic labs.
Oh No! I think Please don't..... and before I can get the words formed in the back of my mind I watch with horrific wonder as all 9 killiongillion million lights light up! I only have minutes left to find these labs before the end of my shift and all will be lost if I stopped my search for those labs. Exhausted I reach once more for the most powerful tool that any hospital employee can have.. The Magic Eraser !!! In one quick swipe the call lights are cleared and patients are happy once more.
Now seconds to go and I try my last hope... I track down the young resident doctors to ask about the exotic labs. Finally he appears from around the corner. I rush excitedly to him with the orders. "Please Dr James could you clarify these lab orders for me?" I ask.
Dr James looks at the order sheet , scratches his head and sheepishly smile.. "I'm sorry but those weren't orders on anyone they were answers to a test I was taking."
I reach for the Magic Eraser to sponge him out and then stop. I look at the clock and realize it was time to go for the night. I pick up my marbles and walk quietly down the hall to the locker room. I smile and think I now know what the "other things" to clean were.