Keep Me From Falling Apart [Niall Horan]

Chapter Eight

I could feel it.

I could feel everything.

Especially the pain.

Around 1am I woke up. I had fallen asleep sometime after I’d gotten on the plane that would land in London. I didn’t just catch so much sleep that I finally woke up, not tired anymore. I had come to the conclusion I would never do that again. 

Instead of calmly waking up in my seat, like a normal person would, I lunged from my seat. I let out a choking noise when I pulled my self off the floor of the plane. Most of the passengers were sleeping, or listening to music, so no one paid attention to me when I raced to the bathroom.

One of the flight attendants asked if I was okay when I passed her, but I didn’t answer, I just slammed the door behind me. I hadn’t woken up because my body just felt like waking up, I had been woken by the stabbing pain coursing through my body. It wasn’t exactly physical, but it wasn’t exactly all in my head either.

I could feel it pulling, scratching, clawing at my skin, trying to pull me under the dark waters. 

I gripped my left side, trying not to let out a shriek. I leaned against the wall, gasping. Realizing my medications were completely out of my system was a bit more of a shock than I thought it would be. I faintly remembered feeling like this a year earlier when I’d first developed my depression, but it was never this bad.

I sunk to the floor, still holding onto my side, and I felt like someone was sucking the life out of me. I squeezed my eyes shut as more chokes escaped my throat. 

“Miss, is everything alright?” The youngest flight attendant asked, knocking on the door.

I sucked in a breath and opened my eyes. I was afraid to speak. If I did, I might would let out a deafening wail or possibly completely break down in the plane bathroom.

“Miss?” The girl knocked again.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said a bit harshly, my voice shaky and cracking.

I stretched my legs out as much as I could in the tiny space and took a few deep breaths.

Two more hours. 120 minutes. I’ll be in London. 

My breathing became more and more calm as the pain in my side eased off. I finally found the muscles in my legs and made it back to my seat. 

Soon, but not soon enough, the plane landed. I was officially in London. I dumped my bags onto the sidewalk and pulled my phone out. I texted Whitney.

“I’m in London. You had nothing to do with me leaving. You didn’t help me at all. Do not take any blame for me,” I said, knowing she’d try helping me once my Mom found out I had left.

I sat down on the nearest bench as my phone beeped.

“I heard my mom talkin bout u on the phone, I think they’ve realized you’re gone, lol,” Whitney texted back.

“Good. As long as they have no heading on where I am, everything is fine. Let me know if you find anything else out,” I said.

“Will do,” She replied.

“Thanks again,” I sent back before I stuffed my phone in my pocket and slipped my bags back over my shoulder.

Marie had texted me when I’d landed in ATL and told me that a cab would pick me up once I was in London. 

“Casse?” A man asked getting out of a cab.

“Yes,” I said nodded as I dragged my bag over to him.