-A Collection of Well Written Essays About What I find is Complete BULLSHIT!!!-
This is short stories about me ranting about the thing I find BULLSHIT!
SHOELACES ARE FUCKING HELL!!! I HATE THESE ASSHOLES!!! THEY'RE THE SKUNKS' ROTTING BUTTHOLE WITH PUS COMING OUT, ALONG WITH PIMPLE JUICE SPRAYING OUT WITH IT AND BUFFALO JIZZ COMING OUT OF IT!!!
I'm apologize; I'm not taking it back. That's foul from me.
Anyway, Shoelaces are bullshit because of one thing-
THEY ALWAYS FIND A DAMN WAY COMING FUCKING APART!!!
It doesn't matter if you double-knotted them or triple-knotted them!!! Hell, I don't really give a damn if you Quadruple-knot them!!! THESE BITCHES WILL FIND A DAMN WAY TO COME APART!!!
IT'S A PAIN IN EVERYONES' ASS!!! I FUCKING CAN'T STAND IT!!!
Remember Back To The Future? Remember when Marty had those self-laced Nikes? I thought those were the shit back then!!! I literally shit my pants when I saw that movie. That movie was made into my bitch!
But guess what?!?!?! IT'S THE YEAR GOD-DAMN 20 DAMN 19!!! IT'S BEEN FIVE OR SIX FUCKING YEARS SINCE THEN AND GUESS WHAT WE STILL DON'T HAVE THOSE FUCKING THINGS!!! 2015 WAS BULLSHIT THAT YEAR BECAUSE OF THAT!!!
In case y'all don't know what I'm about to say, back in the 1900s, there were these things called Bow Biters. They were made for holding your laces in place and they sold the shit! Man, they were awesome!!! They even had an Super Mario Bros Edition!!!
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Do you also remember Velcro Shoes? VELCRO SHOES WERE FUCKING DAMN AWESOME!!! THEY WERE THE SHIT BACK THEN!!! WE WERE THE NEIGHBORHOOD GANGSTERS BACK THEN!!!
Man, the last time I wore those was when I was in fourth grade. Everyone use to make fun of me because they told I didn't know how to tie my shoes.
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WELL GUESS WHAT?!?!? I DID!!! I DID KNEW!!! IT WAS JUST THAT I DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IT!!!
