A lot of shit went on in my life the following week. Including my Dad trying to reach me, which I was not happy about. How dare he think that I would speak to him after all he's done. He raped my mum, that's how I'm here. He abused her for years. He insulted my sexuality. He wasn't there for me when I needed a father.
And he thought he could come back, give my mother a huge bruise on her arm and expect me to want to speak to him. He's messed up and I don't want any part of his bullshit in my life.
My mum also decided I should start doing my school work again. She said I had missed out on a lot and it would take a long time to catch up on my curriculum.
I tried. I really did. I just broke down every time I opened my laptop. The wallpaper was still a picture of me and Billie. The memories just flooded into my fucked up mind at the sight of her face.
We used to sit here and do our school work most days. We would laugh and get barely any work done, then ocean eyes went viral. I was broken. She abandoned me. All of a sudden, I realised how stupid I was to expect her to stay with me. The story replayed in my mind over and over.
Even when I changed the wallpaper, I just couldn't remove Billie from my mind. She was always there. Right at the front. And it tore me apart.
Honestly, if they hadn't been on tour, I would have gone round and forced Finneas to confess. I would threaten him, make Billie watch. Let her see that she was believing a twisted lie. But they were in Canada. And I could've been there with them.
After two long weeks of attempting to do school work, I finally gave up. I locked myself in my room and wrote songs for 3 weeks straight, living on coffee and minimal food. I posted my work on Instagram, needing to share my music with the world. Needing to show Billie and her fans that I was strong, I was still going.
I just didn't know what to do with my life anymore; I was trapped in my room, thinking about Billie - then my dad trying to creep into my life - and crying. It was like I had been pulled into a cycle.
One night, as I thought about everything that had happened, I tried to think about moving on. I hated being so trapped in my own dark thoughts all of the time. I knew it would be hard, but there must've been something I could do.
I spent hours trying to plan out my life, trying to realise what I wanted, by 1am, I felt defeated. This was all too much for me to deal with. I didn't want to be here, at home. I wanted to escape, to run away and never look back. I stormed downstairs and broke down in my mums arms. I pleaded for hours. I couldn't face my own house anymore, the memories of the past haunted it. I wanted to move on but that was impossible whilst I was here, whilst I was lonely. I wanted to go to public school, meet people, get away from home and turn my life around.
I wanted to escape the spiral.
"You don't need to plead, sweetie" my mum said as she comforted me. "If public school is where you want to be I can look at some nearby if you'd like" I sat up instantly. For the first time in months, I stopped crying. I smiled.
"Really?" I said as I threw myself into my mothers arms and tackled her into a hug. "Yes!" She replied with a slight laugh.
We started looking at schools the very next day and - after weeks of searching - we found one. It wasn't too far from my house and it had a really good report.
I was ecstatic. ~ So, this brings us to the present. I'm starting my new school tomorrow and I haven't thought about Billie for over 24 hours (which is a record for me). I'm just looking up to the future, to getting over her and being happy. I check my phone before going to bed: Via Instagram-
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Liked by zoedonahoe, maggiembaird and 363,675 others wherearetheavocados ya'll went craaaazy in Toronto, this is such a dream. (Also @sophiemyers, thanks for coming with us so last minute) billvia who tf is thatttt? bilsavocadosarejuicy girl you deserve the world 🌎 queenbil you're both so stunning 🔥 View all 27,573 comments
I scroll past the post. Billie doesn't deserve any more of my tears. I place my phone down and get some sleep. ~ *beep beep beep beep* At 6:30am I spring into action, turning off my alarm with so much force that the clock falls off my desk. I can put it back later, I think, as I hop into the shower for a quick wash.
My readily picked out outfit for the day is hung on my wardrobe door for me to put on after I dry myself. I put on the outfit: a black tank top with baggy cargo pants and huge gothy boots. Not too extreme, but covering every insecurity I have.
I sprint downstairs with a huge grin on my face as I grab some breakfast, before running back up to brush my teeth and apply a small amount of makeup. I part my hair at the side and let it fall into it's natural curls. Perfect.
Grabbing my phone, I see that it's only 7:30 so I go on my phone for half an hour. I post a mirror selfie of my outfit on the instagram:
olivia.ward public school better be better than crying in my room all day. I'm staying strong bitches 😉 billvia can't believe you're moving on from Billie so quick. I was expecting an epic comeback 😢 avocadosquad I'm still confused at what went down between u and bil 🤔 i.exist.hello your so prettyyy 💘 View all 2,846 comments
At 8:00am, I left for my first day at school.
A/N: Probably ended at the complete wrong point but idgaf tbh. Could you all help me decide who to cast as Olivia?
I'm trying to find someone with naturally curly hair but I don't really care otherwise. I just feel like it would be good to include some Instagram posts from both Billie and Olivia so please comment recommendations. Thanks 🙏🏻
