Forgiveness Kiss: A Legolas and Aragorn Fanfic

The Midwinter

 It was the winter after Aragorn had turned forty. He and Legolas were on one of the many hunting trips they had taken in those early days. Even then Legolas had felt something stirring inside him whenever Aragorn looked his way. But he always brushed the feelings aside. 

 Aragorn was in love with Arwen, that was plain to see. And even if he wasn't, Legolas was nothing special. He had royal status, of course, but that seemed so insignificant compared to Aragorn's genuine charisma, his courage, and his need to do the right thing. Royal blood could never match up with that.

 Legolas made himself miserable with these thoughts, but he knew them to be true. So when Aragorn asked him to go hunting for a few weeks, Legolas refused to acknowledge his thudding heart and accepted the invitation.

 As the trip went on, the two friends had taken to sleeping quite close to each other in their small tent, to keep out the bitter cold. Legolas tried not to notice how he could feel Aragorn breathing next to him as he slept. 

 But one night, everything changed.

 It was a particularly freezing night, the kind of cold that clouds your breath and seems to seep into your bones no matter how many layers you wear. Aragorn and Legolas couldn't sleep, so they lay next to each other talking about whatever they thought about; their families, the rumours of an upcoming war, and their futures. Late in the night, when they were both very tired, the talk turned to Arwen.

 "I love her," Aragorn said. "Sometimes it feels like I love her more than anything else. But I'm not sure how well we go together..."

 "What do you mean?" Legolas asked. He was sure that under normal circumstances Aragorn wouldn't speak so plainly about his relationship, and he wanted to know as much as possible. 

 "It's just..." Aragorn continued. "We grew up together, and yet it feels like we want different things out of life. I'm destined to be King someday, but I would be happiest living in the woods and hunting rather than ruling a nation. And Arwen... She spends most of her time studying old books. She tells me what a great King I will make, as though she doesn't know that I have turned from that path. So even though I enjoy being with her, it's starting to feel almost forced. Like she's only with me because of who I may be someday, instead of who I am now..." Aragorn trailed off into silence. He looked so troubled, and it broke Legolas' heart. He put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. 

 "I think that if you are unhappy, you should consider leaving her," Legolas said quietly. Aragorn looked at him with a pained expression.

 "I have thought about that," he replied sadly. "But I don't think I can do it. What would Elrond think? He has raised me since I was a boy, treated me like his own son. How could I betray him after all his kindness? Elladan and Elrohir would never give me so much as a glance again should I hurt their sister. I would ruin my friendships with both of them. And Arwen... I don't want to break her heart. Rivendell is my home. I couldn't bear it if I was no longer welcome there. So with Arwen I will stay. It is not such a terrible future."

 Legolas struggled to compose his thoughts. It was none of his business what Aragorn wanted to do with his life, but he didn't seem happy. Aragorn noticed the look on Legolas' face and asked softly, "Are you alright? You look troubled."

 Before he could stop himself, Legolas blurted out, "You deserve more than just a 'not so terrible' future." 

 The man and Elf stared at each other in surprise for a few moments before Legolas continued.

 "You... You shouldn't be with someone just because you are afraid of a life without them. I mean, do you really want to be with Arwen for the rest of your life? When you think of waking up in the morning, breaking bread, falling into bed at night. Is she the one you picture yourself doing it with? Is she the one you want to kiss goodnight, every night, for as long as you live? Because if she isn't, then you're only hurting both of you by being with her."

 Legolas looked up, cheeks burning, to see Aragorn gazing back at him, speechless. Legolas locked eyes with him.

 "You can't force yourself to love someone any more than you can force someone else to love you."

 They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Aragorn broke the silence.

 "But she loves me, with all her heart. What if I never find someone who loves me as much as she does?"

 "You will," Legolas promised. "You will always have someone who loves you even more than Arwen does."

 Aragorn looked confused. "What do you-"

 Before he could lose his nerve, Legolas took Aragorn's face in his hands and kissed him. It was like fireworks going off in his mind. Legolas put everything he had into that kiss. Years off affection and passion and need. He had no idea how much time was passing; seconds, hours, it didn't matter. He was finally kissing the man he loved.