The firefighter's smile

Chapter Seventeen

It was difficult, painful but worth it. Talking to Doctor Charles was worth it even if talking about what he feels, what hurts, what makes him happy was difficult. However, his mind was getting clearer with every session. He learned to deal with his fears and to manage his grief. He learned to accept sadness. He learned simply to be fully himself without holding anything.

Today was his last day in the hospital. His doctor and therapist had cleared him, the only one who hadn't was Daniel who was waiting for the outcome of their session. Exceptionally, he asked not only Charlotte to join them but Matthew too.

They were already on the psychiatrist's office when Severide arrived. When he saw them, his face dropped. He looked like a bear caught in a trap.

"What are they doing here?" he asked after a couple of seconds of awkward silence.

"They are here to help you."

Without a word, the Squad 3 Lieutenant took place beside Doctor Charles, in front of Charly and Casey. He's feeling betrayed.

"You should have told me!" he exclaimed.

"Why? It's just your friends."

"No, it's not just my friends and you know that. You know how I feel about them and..."

"Are we making you uncomfortable?" Matt asked, worried.

"No... yes. A little, okay." Kelly responded, resting his head suddenly on his palm.

"We can go if it makes you feel better" Charly suggested.

"No!" Kelly shout. "Stay. Please."

"They are not going anywhere, Kelly." Doctor Charles intervened, having seen the panic and fear on his patient's face. "Can you tell me why are they making uncomfortable?"

"I... Because I put them through hell. I put them through hell and I've said and done things I can't take back." He mumbled, avoiding his friends' gazes.

Smith and Casey looked at each other and then at Doctor Charles.

"Kelly, it's fine," Charly reassured him.

"We understand and forgive you," Matt added.

"How can you?"

"What?"

"How can you forgive me for taking you accountable for Andy's death? Because I can forgive myself for that and for his death too."

"Because I took you accountable for it, too, cause I was so angry, that I needed to accuse someone. To throw all this anger on someone and I didn't think that maybe the right person to be angry at wasn't you but Andy."

"I thought I lost you too." Sev choked on a sob. "I couldn't bear see you and not talk to you."

"Kel, I will never let you down, even when you are hitting at my nerves, driving me crazy, or thinking it a good idea to steal a construction cone in the middle of the night because you are too drunk to think straight."

This memory erupted a laugh from Severide. A true one that shows all his teeth, and makes his eyes shine, losing Charly in the depth of her memories.

The firefighter's smile, she remembered so well, appeared in her mind but this time she could see him, see the man who made her see how the family isn't only blood, that popped the question after pissing her off and that saved him from the arms of death. All came back.

Charlotte didn't think twice, she lunged herself at the Squad 3 Lieutenant and kissed him.

"What?"

"I remember."

"You..."

"Yeah. And the craziest thing is that that's thanks to the same thing that made me fall for you. Your smile."

THE END.