☆*:.｡. Hamilton One-Shots.｡.:*☆

Panic Attacks - Lams (Angst - Fluff)

Self Promotion is the best Promotion
From the book - flustered but like edited
written by and_peggi

College AU
Musical Appearances

Alex's POV

I got out the car, my breath getting faster.

I had been thinking about my mother and brother leaving the coffee shop, and I was freaking out it would happen again

I thinking about the past, The pain. I rushed up to our room and forced the key into the doorknob and pushed the door open, seeing John sitting on the couch.

"Alexander? Is that you?" He turned around.

My heart pumped faster and faster, as if it was going to jump out my chest. I hyperventilated, shakily clutching the sleeves of my hoodie as if I was going to fall out of my skin. I sweat as if I took a cold shower, and my hands and legs felt like pins and needles.

"Y-y-y-y-e-s—!" I stuttered, the room turning against me and spinning.

"Alexander? Are you okay?"

Alexander, are you going to be okay without mommy..?

I fell to the floor, sweat and tears flooding down my face.

"ALEXANDER!" John yelled, getting up from the couch and running towards me.

I clutch my hair and try to fight the urge against pulling it all out, breathing as if I was drowning.

"J-J-Joh-Joh-John—!!" I stuttered, the vomit in my stomach threatening to come out.

"Holy shit! Okay, hold on Alex!" He said, picking me up and carrying me to the bathroom.

He placed me by the toilet, and I stayed put, the toilet seeming so fake, like someone painted a piece of cardboard, like someone printed out a piece of paper, like someone sculpted it out of clay. I couldn't puke in that.

The tightness in my chest became tighter every breath I took.

"J-J-Jo-Joh—" I choked. "I-I-I-I'm going to d-d-di-die!!"

"Alex, you are not going to die! Listen to me!"

My head jerked to the side hearing that. "John, I am going to drown! I'm going to sink! Help me, help me!"

He hugged me tightly and stroked my hair. "Alex, you're breathing right now. See? You're breathing. Calming down and breathe, let the air go through your nose."

I shut my eyes and breathed, trying to tell myself how I was going to be okay in John's arms.

Eventually, I settled down. He softly kissed my forehead. "Is everything okay..?" He whispered. I nodded shakily, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. "The... ah.. hurricane..?" John asked. I nodded again, shivers down my back. He nodded slightly and picked me up.

"Nooo.. John... I can walk on my ownnn.." I whined.

"Alex, you just had a panic attack." He grinned.

I couldn't help but smile as he placed me on the bed. He jumped into bed with me and spooned.
"I love you, Alex.." He whispered, planting a soft kiss on my neck.

I chuckled and slowly fell asleep.

—————

500 words