Comfort Zone

Chapter 34

"Usually we say breathe in energy, health, peace and goodness, and breathe out all negativity, fear and anxiety," said Miriam's yoga teacher the next morning, while students moved into tree pose. "But today I want to suggest something different. Breathe in deeply and allow yourself to take in the bad, suck it out of the room and the world. You know you can absorb it, filter it. You're big enough, it won't hurt you. You're a tree that takes in our waste, our carbon dioxide.

"Now breathe out! A tree, exhale life-sustaining oxygen. There's nothing bad left, it's all gone. Breathe out the good to each other, your neighbors, and the world!

"Now child's pose. Assume a child's mind, beginners' mind."

No wonder I love this class, Miriam thought, sinking into the comforting pose. Sitting on her heels with forehead on her mat, she felt her teacher's hand gently touch her back.

But is any of what she says possible?

Despite yoga, she still felt like an empty tube of toothpaste when she got to the office, struggling to squeeze a little more of herself out.

Angel came back again for a visit after she had thrown him out of the office as civilly as possible the evening before. His pain was a little better. He told her about his new girlfriend and their sex life. Whoa, TMI! she wanted to say.

But then he told her how he loved his girlfriend though she made a load of trouble for him. "When you love someone, where's the breaking point?" he said, immediately answering his own questions.

"There is none. The good always outweighs the bad."

As arranged, Miriam wrote another small amount of narcotic. They'd settled on a plan to wean him to the absolute minimum.

She printed the script, distracted by the words "and she makes me laugh so hard the pain goes away."

JK, where are you? she thought in despair, come back and defend yourself! And make me laugh. She watched her patient shove the prescription in his pocket and give her a big smile, and a thank you.

"A pleasure," she answered.

Next up was Sandra Lester's boyfriend, Evan Short, who was every bit as wonderful as advertised. Fit, forties, with a delightful sense of humor and a fascinating job. Thanks to a no-show, Miriam had extra time to talk.

He was a sociologist, working on a grant to study Navajo ideas, one of which involved attention to language and thoughts, which they believed had the power to shape reality.

"For the Navajo," he explained, sounding every bit the professor he was, "the most important concept is hozho, which refers to all that is good and harmonious in the world. As a doctor, you might find it difficult to discuss possible side effects of medicines. Even saying, 'come back if you don't get better,' would be considered negative speech and possibly harmful, anathema to hozho."

Miriam wondered how she would obtain informed consent, or even discuss advance directives, hoping this cultural ethical dilemma wouldn't come up while she was still consultant of the month.

"That words are powerful, and that we make our own reality with positive speech and thinking, is a wide-spread idea now," Miriam said. "But one caveat is that we don't end up blaming the victim, for example saying that someone wouldn't have gotten cancer if he had a better attitude."

"I couldn't agree more. Life is complicated; there are so many factors beyond the control of limited beings like us." So far so good, Miriam thought, remembering Sandra Lester's unshared condition. Sound like a forgiving kind of guy.