A Chapter Completed

Apparently, Life feels like I still don't have enough Lemons

I don't know the exact amount of time I lay there on the floor feeling empty. It might have been seconds, or minutes or hours. The truth is, I didn't have the time or energy to think about anything else.

Elena's jeering face kept appearing in front of my eyes. The more I tried to  blink it away, the clearer it got.
Her words rang in my ears, and her melodious laughter, for me, was akin to that of your stereotypical Disney villains' crackle – filled with the promise of impending doom.

She didn't look like most Disney villains though. Elena was beautiful. Curly, brown shoulder-length hair with green eyes to match as well as tanned skin made her really popular with the male gender; even when she wasn't even trying.

"C'mon Serene...I thought....family....I thought we agreed....I'm family...Serene...staying here for a month...we agreed...C'mon...for a month...family...c'mon Serene..."

"Shut up. Just shut up," I murmured, clawing at my ears.
"Oh? You want these voices to leave? Honey, c'mon, by now you should know that you're not strong enough to force them away."
"No. No. Just go away please."
"You never learn dearie. They won't leave by you asking them to. You'll have to force them out. But, you're a weakling, as we have already established."
"I'm not. I'm...I'm not..."
"Not what, darling? Weak??"
"Just...just leave me alone."
"Dear, that's where you're wrong. Did you forget? You are already all alone."
"I..."
"No one wants to be with you. No one cares. You. Are. All. Alone."

Alone. I was all alone.
I moved, half crawling to the bathroom in a trance.
I'm a coward. And a weakling. Stretching my hand to the handle, I grasped it and opened the door.
I wasn't strong enough.
The door swung in suddenly and I lost my balance, falling on the bathroom floor.
I was all alone.
Using the sink, I pulled myself upwards, and scrambled in the cupboards for the a razor.
No one wants to be with me.
I finally found one, and brought it closer to myself, eyeing it with longing and pain.
I am already alone.
Grasping it, I placed it next to my wrist.

This was it. I was done. I had given up. I was all alone. Nobody would care anyways.
Taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes as I moved the razor towards skin.

I heard a soft thumping noice, but choose to ignore it. I could afford any distractions now.

I let in another deep breath, blinking rapidly. I made to move the razor once again, but heard the thumping sound once again, followed by a slight creaking sound.
Shaking my head, I closed my eyes, for what I thought would be the last time, as I dug the razor into my skin.

"Hey, you're mom let me i...what the hell Zoe!"
Gasping, more from the pain then from being startled, I dropped the razor.
I watched as the warm blood oozed out of the wide, yet shallow cut on my wrist. I followed it with my eyes as it trickled down my hand, and dripped onto the floor, creating a small puddle.

"Are you f*cking insane!"

I looked at the approaching figure, feeling light-headed already.

"Oh hey Drake. Wha...at are you doing here?"

I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to stop the world from spinning. As Drake approached, I held the edges of the sink once again for balance.
It was slowly dawning on me that I was in deep shit.

Everything was just catching up to me all at once. Elena was here. She was actually here. And not just for the day, but she would be here for a whole month.
To top that, knowing mother's affection for her, she would treat her like the daughter she never had, while her actual daughter, i.e me, spends her nights slicing her wrists open.
Speaking of which, Drake, who was already pissed of just knowing about the cuts on my wrists, had just actually seen me in the act of cutting them. And going by the expression on his face as he stormed towards me, one thing weng through my mind. "Shit just got real."

So, thanks life, thanks alot for still sticking by me and not giving me, the person undergoing all the pain and suffering, the person slicing her wrists open, the person who is a disgrace for her own mother, the person whom no one wants around anyway, a choice on whether or not I choose to live. Thanks.

........................................

Idk about you guys but this was hard for me to write. It's also shorter than normal, but it's got some pretty heavy stuff I guess. Idk.

Unlike that last paragraph, I just want to say that please, any of u guys, never resort to taking ur own life. Please.
Life can be shitty. We all know, we've been there, we are there, or we'll get there. But one day, we are all going to overcome it. Because let's be real, the weather can't remain cloudy forever, right?
I can't pretend to know what it's like being depressed, and I won't. I just want to say that go through life one day at a time. Focus on what makes you happy. Find a way of letting it out ; writing, singing, painting, dancing, anything.
And remember, you're not alone :)