A Chapter Completed

The Calm

For the first time in months, I woke up refreshed. That night I had had no nightmares, which was unusual. Getting up and going down for breakfast, I found myself humming. Okay, that is not uncommon at all.
Dad was trying to make pancakes while Chase set the table. Emphasis on trying. Mother was trying to swat him away from the frying pan using a spatula... a spatula that was covered with pancake mix. And she hit him right on the back of his head with it. The ironic part is that she knew it was dirty.
I smiled despite myself as my parents fought like ten-year olds.

"G'morning," I greeted.
"Hey sweetie. Feeling better?" Dad asked as he came to hug me. I backed away however, gesturing to his batter-filled hands.
"Yes dad. Thank you."
Sitting on my chair, I grabbed an apple and began cutting it into slices, putting them on a plate when I was done.

"Hey Zee, pass me the apple slices, will you?"asked Chase.
I handed him the plate, as my parents took their seats at the table.

Mather and dad were finally done making pancakes (more like having a food fight) and joined us at the table.
Chase and dad immediately began stuffing their faces with food.
Mother on the other hand began nibbling on her food, looking at me.

I shuffled uncomfortably, forcing myself to look at my plate as I felt her gaze on me.

"Zoe," she called.
"Yes mother?" I replied, as I began fiddling with my fork and knife.

Please don't spoil my day.

"Are you okay?" she questioned.

Wait what?

Before I had the chance to speak out my mind, she continued.
"You have been rather quiet the past few days, and you left halfway through our game last night."

Am I dreaming? Are pigs flying? Or am I in a parallel universe?

"Zoe?" I heard my dad call out, breaking me out of my trance.
"Oh, sorry. Yes mother, I'm fine. I was just a little tired last night. I'm sorry for leaving."
Instead of replying, she initiated a conversation with Chase.

Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.

Breakfast passed uneventfully. Chase cleaned up the table while I did the dishes. In silence. As always.
As I wiped the last plate clean, I wondered how I was going to spend the day. I felt like going to the park, but it would probably be filled with children, the day being a Saturday. Maybe later.

I sat on the couch and settled for watching a random movie to pass time.
Weekends are actually long when you don't have friends, or hobbies, or siblings you talk to, or a way to prevent the constant nightmares. But you've got to do what you've got to do.

Around three hours later, sometime just after noon, I found myself at the park.
The last few mothers were brushing the sand off of their children's clothes next to the sand pit, as they prepared to leave.
I strolled towards my once upon a time favorite swing — which now looked a little worse for wear, since I last saw it — and sat on it. I could feel the cool breeze, even though I was not swinging.

Memories flood my brain, and I let them, this time successful in my attempts to suppress the bad ones.
Chase and I building sand castles in the sand pit, having the famous 'Who can swing higher and faster?' competition, me trying to swing all the way round while Chase laughed at me, telling me that it was impossible.
He was a know it all even back then, but I always ignored him, concentrating instead on my mission.

I smiled as I recalled Chase and my almost monthly competition.
We had created this, sort of, obstacle course when I was around 8 years old.
It began at the swings. We would swing for exactly 30 seconds, and then use the momentum to jump off. We would rush to the sand pit and make a basic sand castle — just one tower, with a flag. Then we would race to the benches, crawl under them, circle around a big old oak tree, and run back to the swings. First one to sit earns bragging rights. The loser, on the other hand, had to do the winner's chores for a week.

I chuckled humorlessly as I remembered a conversation I had, long ago, with my father.

"Daddy, can you teach me how to drive your car? Pretty please?" The naive, innocent six-year old me had asked.

"Yes I will, baby girl, but not now. I'll teach you when you've grown up," he had replied.

"But daddy, cousin Emma drives a car. She told me yesterday on the phone," I had argued.

"Yes, but cousin Emma is 16 isn't she? And you're still 6," dad had explained.

"It's not fair, why do grown ups get everything? Being a kid is hard and no fun. You don't get to do anything. I want to grow up daddy. I want to do whatever I want" I had whined.

Dad had just laughed that day. 6 year-old me couldn't understand why he was laughing when I was being completely serious, and had stomped away.
Today, I understood.