Trapped .

house warming .

I don't know how but , I managed to get up this morning , mainly because we were expecting guest today , but I could've cancelled. I walked downstairs and got Ryan up , but surprisingly he was already up and playing with Kaycee , I loved Kaycee and she's what keeps me going otherwise , I would've probably killed myself , by now . It is what it is. Jayden tried to come up to the house today and all his stuff was in the front yard , just sitting in dirt spit , and gum , chewed up gum , I walked back in the house and it was silent, no Kaycee no Ryan , no one , where is my child? i walked to the back door and out jumped family and friends , SURPRISE I jumped , I stood there in shock , everyone was here , surprising me . I surprised myself I totally forgot today was my birthday. I've been so stressed out with everything I haven't been thinking about anything. I have all my friends and family hugs , and we sat down altogether and started eating , all up until there was a knock on the door. I walked to the door slowly.
There he was .
"Yes ? " I said with an attitude.
"Can we um , talk ? , alone ? "
"I guess " I stepped outside with Jay.
"Look , baby I am so sorry , it wasn't right what I did to you , and I should've been just straight up in the beginning and I'm so sorry , I realized my life without you is nothing at all , and I need you in my life."

"Okay Jay , but you nee to understand is it's not fair that U do all this stuff to me , and all I do is stay loyal , and cook , and clean , and love you with all my heart and soul , and it's not fair the way you treat me , so all I'm saying is , if u want a whack ass girl , then go get one , but I'm not that bitch , I'm not going to sit back while U cheat , and disrespect me. I have no time for ignorance man.

I really am sorry April , like idk what to say to make you feel better I mean it just is what it is , I don't know , sometimes I just feel like you're gonna leave me .

Well you should think that , cause I'm real close to getting at that point with you , you haven't been here for about 4 years , and you come back and wanna act like you have no sense whatsoever , so I mean fvck it at this point .

April you getting mad for what ?! You act like i did ---

Just shutup cause everything that comes out your mouth ends up being stupid asf , pointless , and a waste of breath , , I said cutting him off , so you leave my property and kiss my ass cause I'm done with you , oh and thanks for leaving Kaycee behind yet again , seems to be the only thing you are good at.
I walked in the house and licked the door , I went straight to Ryan and grabbed his sleeve , and pulled him in a room away from everyone else. He knows me so well , he grabbed me and held my head close to his heart , i bursted into tears because deep down I knew he was the one for me , but I basically strang him along cause I was so tied up with Jay. Kaycee soon came walking and stumbling in , I looked down at her.

"Kaycee, I said picking her up , I love you girly , I began to smile.

"I wuv mwommy twoo, she said giggling.