Pray For Me

Rome, Finally

"Do you ever think about what would have happened if we never worked together?" Jude asks, laying on Timothy's bare chest in the moonlight. She hands the cigarette up to him, and he takes a drag before flicking off the ash. He runs his fingers over her shoulder lightly, fingertips occasionally grazing her collar bone.

"No."

"I do."

"Why?" He asks, looking down at her. She sighs and grabs the cigarette from him.

"I don't know. I just think about where I would be without Briarcliff. Like," She adjusts, propping herself on her elbow, "I think of how I probably would still be working at the convent. No you, no Octavia, no fetus. You'd probably be Pope by now."

"I'd be dead."

"Why would you say that?" Jude asks, laying her head back on his chest. She exhales the smoke, staring out the window at the full moon.

"Because, Jude, I was contemplating it long before I even left Briarcliff. I was miserable. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of you helping me run the church. You were always kind to me, especially when I didn't deserve it."

"I don't want to talk about that anymore," Jude says, lacing her fingers with Timothy's. Timothy sighs and drops it, closing his eyes and petting Jude's hair mindlessly.

"That's, what, two children concieved out of wedlock?" Timothy asks, trying to lighten the mood. Jude chuckles, turning on her side and draping her leg across Timothy's.

"Your calculations are indeed correct, Mr. Howard."

"Well, Mrs. Howard, we better make sure to keep that to ourselves tomorrow."

"Ah, yes. The reunion with the church friends," Jude says sarcastically, turning her head up to look at him.

"They weren't all complete assholes."

"Most of them were."

"Most, yes," Timothy laughs, leaning down to kiss her softly. Jude sighs, arms tightening around him.

"Do we dare try for a fifth?"

"Hell yes!" Timothy laughs, pinning her below him quickly. Jude laughs and kisses him.

——

"They do know we're coming, right?" Jude asks, hand gripping Timothy's tightly.

"Mhmm," He says, looking at her. She's anxious. She's had no association with the church since Briarcliff, and she was perfectly happy to continue living her life that way.

"It's going to be alright, Jude," Timothy says, kissing her temple as they walk through the streets of the Vatican City. They walk slowly, taking in everything that they could have had, in another life.

They approach the Apostolic Palace, where they will be meeting Timothy's old friends who now sit on the Council of Cardinal Advisors. Jude takes a deep breath, fighting off a panic attack.

"Let's sit down here for a second, huh?" Timothy suggests, guiding Jude over to a bench near the front rose garden.

"Timothy, I don't think I can go in there," Jude sobs, burying her face in Timothy's chest.

"Shh, it's okay, Jude," Timothy says, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head.

"I'm sorry," She cries, trying to catch her breath.

"Shh, shh, my rara avis, everything is going to be just fine. I promise you. I'll be right beside you the entire time. These guys, they aren't all church-y. I love you, Jude. Do you trust me?" He asks, tilting her face up to meet his eye. Jude nods.

"Okay, then let's go. I will never let anything bad happen to you. Hmm?"

"Okay," Jude sniffles, fixing her makeup in her compact. Timothy nods, kissing her forehead and helping her up, hand on her back, guiding her through the grand hallways of the Pope's home. Timothy stops in front of a large oak door and knocks. Jude closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut. Timothy rubs her back, pulling her into his side. She takes another breath and nods, looking up at him.

"I'm okay."

"Okay, if you say so, dear."

Jude cracks a small smile, poking his chest.

"There it is," He says, tickling her lightly. She giggles, stepping away from him as the door opens.

"Timothy!" The man says, pulling Timothy into a hug. Timothy laughs, patting his back.

"Brother Matthew! It's so good to see you."

"It's actually, Chief Advisor Cardinal Matthew, now," The man laughs, gesturing for them to come in. Jude clings to Timothy's arm like a child scared of losing their parent in a crowded store.

"Oh, Chief Advosor Cardinal Matthew, please allow me to inroduce you to my Wife, Mrs. Judy Howard."

Jude chuckles awkwardly and extends her hand for Matthew to shake.

"It's a pleasure, Judy."

"The pleasure is mine, Cardinal. And please, call me Jude."

Matthew nods and leads them past a hallway of offices. They enter a meeting chamber of sorts, full of other Cardinal advisors, all of them sitting around, laughing and drinking wine.

"What?" Jude asks, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"I told you," Timothy whispers, elbowing her in the side lightly. She sticks her bottom lip out and blows the baby hairs out of her eyes.

"Timothy, please," Matthew says, gesturing for them to come over. Timothy introduces Jude to everyone, and she relaxes a little bit. Everyone is acting like regular people. Jude sits beside Timothy on a large sectional couch, surrounded by many important looking men. Jude is offered some wine, which she politely declines. Even though people still drink while they're pregnant, she's read some of the new articles they've been publishing about the detriments of alcohol consumption on a baby.

"Jude, how did you meet Timmy Boy?" One of the Cardinals asks.

She shifts awkwardly against him and he rubs her arm, sipping his cognac.

"Well, we advised Briarcliff together."

Everyone is silent. Jude looks down and picks at her cuticles.

"Are you glad it's shut down?" One of the men asks.

"Yes. I'm so glad to put it behind me."

"Why was it so bad?"

"Well, for starters, the wine was terrible," Jude says, cracking a small smile and earning a round of hearty laughter from the group. Timothy chuckles and squeezes her thigh.

Soon enough, all of Jude's nerves are gone, and she's having a great time with Timothy. She's sad when the night comes to a close.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No, surprisingly," Jude says, picking at her food. They immediately went to eat because that reunion took longer than either of them expected, and Jude was ravenous.

"I told you," Timothy jokes, nudging her foot under the table. Jude grins and looks out the window. The sun is setting over the colosseum, and they have a perfect view of it from the restaurant. The golden light is highlighting her face perfectly. Timothy reaches out and strokes her cheek. She closes her eyes and savors the touch.

"Jude," He whispers.

"Hmm?" She hums, looking up at him. He smiles, eyes softening. "What?" She asks, batting his hand away from her face, laughing.

"We made it."

"The baby?" She asks, confusion evident on her face. Timothy laughs, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"What?" Jude asks, hitting his shoulder.

"To Rome, my love."

"Oh," Jude laughs, nodding and looking out the window, taking Timothy's hand across the table.

"I'm glad it happened this way."

"Me too," Timothy smiles.