BFR Critiques Entry (B.C.E)

When Night Comes

Title: When Night Comes
Author: xohrats
Reviewed by: FanminsClub

Grammatical construction: 10/10

Perfect!

Grammar mistakes: 9/10

Did see one or two, maybe a bit more, but nothing too bad.

Easily understood: 9/10

The plot is not too bumpy; minor twists happen throughout your book, but there's not enough of them to confuse the reader.

Use of Vocabulary: 10/10

Simple and plain are not in your vocabulary (no pun intended) and everyone can see that for sure. You have an amazing way with words and expressions; you know how to paint a scene and let the reader loose himself in it. The words you choose are very precise, adapted to each situation — poetic, too. As for spelling mistakes, I have only spotted two or three typos throughout your book. Keep up the good work.

Use of punctuation marks: 10/10

Again, nothing to say other than wonderfully used.

Portrait of the story in the title of book: 9/10

The story is still ongoing, but I feel like the title fits the story well. Until now it had no link, but the last chapter told me there was probably going to be one in the future. I mean, it seems pretty obvious to me.

Character development: 9/10

We don't have much character development, except maybe for the fact Freyja becomes stronger, more determined and oh so much less innocent than during her childhood which she claims she never had. However, characters have been amazingly introduced and not even one of them is useless. Each one plays an important role in the story — most of them fuelling Freyja's hate of the elite. I find that the lack of growth these noble characters have is important to the story, showing how much they are actually clueless, stupid and for the most part cruel, thus making Freyja look like the nicest being ever when I find that she's mostly the opposite. To sum it up, I believe the characters here didn't need any major change to make the story progress or more interesting.

Lessons gained: 10/10

Never give up. Freyja here is the perfect example; she is the living definition of this phrase. Indeed, as a child, she lost her mother, had to work as a servant at such a young age, had to witness her uncle get burned alive because of her idea, fail to protect a little girl in the Hunt, and so on. Yet everytime, she only tried harder and harder to hopefully achieve what she wants — revenge. So many things went wrong in her life, she had so many close people die, has experienced horrific things but never, not even once, did she give up. And at the end, it payed off.

Conclusion:

I love this book so much! The world presented, the names, the ideas and events scream creative and original. I particularly like his the story does not rely on any character other than Freyja, and I find that many authors make the mistake of having the book be centred around two or more characters (romance stories are the perfect example). I also love your writing and the overall aesthetic look of your work. Unfortunately it is on hiatus, but I guess I can wait — with difficulty I have to add. Great book!

Score: 76/80

THANK YOU