BFR Critiques Entry (B.C.E)

Just One Favour

Title: Just One Favour
Author: Alana2215
Reviewed by: FanminsClub

Grammatical construction: 9/10

Overall good, but some sentences are a bit awkward. Indeed, I've found that sometimes two diferent "ideas", or events that deserve their own phrase are put together, with only a comma separating them. For example: "I grad by my bag [...] and start to get up, but Mrs. Hartwing's voice booms around the room, everyone halts ..." Mrs. Hartwing saying something and the students halting are two events that can't be put together by a comma; a semi-colon works or a simple period between "room" and "everyone" to keep that flow going. Apart from that, it's pretty good.

Grammar mistakes: 8/10

Maybe typos, but mistakes either way. "They're" instead of "their" and so on. Needs to be fixed.

Easily understood: 9/10

Apart from strange phrasing and grammar mistakes, the book is accessible to every average person. The plot, the characters, the situations they find themselves in are all described in simple ways and aren't hard to seise.
Also wanted to point out how Darcy was called Leah in a chapter. That's pretty confusing, so it's either you change it to Leah everywhere or keep it Darcy, including in that chapter (which is chapter 7 btw).

Use of Vocabulary: 9/10

Pretty good, but more profound words can be used I believe.

Use of punctuation marks: 10/10

Nothing to say here.

Portrait of the story in the title of book: 10/10

Layton is asking Avery for one favour, just one favour. Makes sense to me.

Character development: A/N/10

Yeah, I don't know yet, since the book has only started, and I can't really judge. The characters don't seem to have changed just yet. Although I do think that Darcy will grow to be more accepting of Avery, but I can't say for sure.

Lessons gained: A/N/10

Here again, I can't really say anything without it being tremendously unfair, as the story is barely at the beginning. However, with the information I have, I presume the lesson is: don't babysit popular guys' sisters.

Conclusion:

A pretty good book, doesn't seem to be very cliche or anything; well I guess there is that cliche side (as in Popular-Not popular relationship) but the babysitting thing is rather original. I like how Darcy is 14 and acting like a total teen (and that Layton thinks she needs babysitting). Also, the writing is fine, you just need to get rid of all of those grammar mistakes and watch as Just One Favour gains in popularity.

Score: 55/60

THANK YOU